Donate

Gross, Steve Bannon.


A couple hours ago, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell spoke to reporters and, when asked if he believes the child molesting allegations against Roy Moore, he responded simply:

I believe the women, yes.

Thank you, feminist icon Mitch McConnell! No, for real, we are glad the message seems to be getting through to the point that Mitch Freaking McConnell is no longer adding "if true" to the allegations. He believes the women. McConnell added, unequivocally, that Moore needs to GTFO out of the Alabama Senate race.

And Roy Moore thus responded in a tweet what had been dictated by the Lord:

Yeah TAKE THAT, Mitch McConnell! Roy Moore might be an alleged CHILD MOLESTER, but at least he's not 'STABLISHMENT!

Moore also responded to McConnell by sending out another fundraising pitch, about how the establishment is hellbent on keeping God's Chosen Alleged Kid-Toucher out of the Senate:

YEAH! Would you rather have an ACCUSED PEDOPHILE or a person who believes ABORTION SHOULD BE LEGAL? Plus, it's bad to abort unborn babies, because what if the baby you aborted was Roy Moore's next girlfriend, allegedly?

Anyway, all of this is obviously making Steve Bannon very 'cited. We don't have an exclusive quote from him or anything, but this is exactly the kind of destruction he's been dying to foist upon America, and the alleged child-fondler is his good old boy. We can only imagine he'll comment on this latest dust-up once he's done maniacally blowing nationalist jizz ropes all over the cobwebby sconces at Breitbart HQ.

He's probably doing O-faces right now, like this:

Or this:

Or this:

Those are very bad O-faces, Steve Bannon. You should be ashamed.

Unfortunately, Bannon's joy-splosion of gin-gasms may be short-lived, after which he will have to return to his normal life, with its regular sad-splosions of cry-gasms. As WaPo notes, it's way too late to get Moore's name off the ballot. McConnell said Monday he might be thinking about looking into a write-in campaign for Luther Strange, but that's kind of a longshot. And Axios reported this weekend that a "Republican close to McConnell" said the majority leader feels strongly enough about this that "he's willing to lose the seat to prevent someone who's guilty of these things from taking it." (Which would be a WHOA IF TRUE moment if there ever was one, because cough cough MERRICK GARLAND cough cough! But we hope it's true!)

Meanwhile, there have been rumblings among the GOP about "Maybe we can get Alabama Governor Kay Ivey to move the election so we can have time to elect a proper Republican!" Unfortunately for those advocating that approach, the answer out of Ivey's office is an unequivocal "Nah bro."

And there are bound to be more accusers. (Gloria Allred gonna do a press conference? We heard that too! Wait, she's doing it in New York City? Might as well do it in SHARIA-TOWN, in the eyes of the average Alabama voter. Get on an airplane and do the presser in a Cracker Barrel in Huntsville, please. OPTICS, PEOPLE!)

Oh well, too bad there's not a literal saint running against Moore, oh wait, yes there is, donate to Doug Jones please right now.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC
Image by Mariordo, Wikimedia Commons

In what seems like a perfectly logical move where corporations are people, MGM International Resorts is suing all the victims of the Las Vegas massacre in federal court. But don't worry -- at least the company isn't seeking damages from them for its own corporate pain and suffering! Instead, the lawsuit is a maneuver to head off liability claims related to the mass shooting last October 1, as is only right and just. All they want is what's coming to them, like immunity from damages and some ill will from consumers, which will no doubt blow over eventually.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Do-Nothing Republicans Continue Doing Nothing About Traitor Trump

Can you keep a crook in office while not looking crooked yourself?

Russia

Monday in Helsinki, Donald Trump stood next to Russian President Vladimir Putin, the official sponsor of Trump's White House reality show, and glibly debased America and its institutions in exchange for a soccer ball, which frankly is more than his soul was ever worth. Republican leaders, defenders of liberty all, strongly condemned the president's actions. House Speaker Paul Ryan went so far as to say, "There's no place for this. [He] should apologize. That's dangerous for our society, that's dangerous for our democracy."

Sorry, no, that was a statement Ryan made when Rep. Maxine Waters suggested citizens personally let members of Trump's cabinet know how much they suck. Ryan's actual statement post-Helsinki reminded me more of the "vaguebooking" your friend posts on social media when their marriage is collapsing.

There is no question that Russia interfered in our election and continues attempts to undermine democracy here and around the world. That is not just the finding of the American intelligence community but also the House Committee on Intelligence. The president must appreciate that Russia is not our ally. There is no moral equivalence between the United States and Russia, which remains hostile to our most basic values and ideals. The United States must be focused on holding Russia accountable and putting an end to its vile attacks on democracy.

"Sometimes you realize you should've listened to your family and friends. You should trust they know what's best for you. It can turn out that your heart was wrong all along."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc