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It's Friday, the day we give thanks that the week is over and we discuss the things that bring us joy. You might be joyful about the Washington Nationals winning the World Series. We are joyful that Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, has cybered himself, yet again, right in the bottom.

Because you know he calls himself a Cyber Expert™, right? He does.

Yes, very soon after we learned about how Giuliani has a certain tendency to dial reporters' numbers on his cell phone with his old man ass and then proceed to leave long discussions of his crimes in their voicemail, NBC News reports that Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, one time in 2017 had to spend the day at the Apple Store because he locked himself out of his own iPhone.

This happened after he became Donald Trump's "cybersecurity adviser," because something something Trump picks best people something something.


Less than a month after he was named President Donald Trump's cybersecurity adviser in 2017, Rudy Giuliani walked into an Apple store in downtown San Francisco.

He wasn't looking for a new gadget. Giuliani was looking for help.

He was locked out of his iPhone because he had forgotten the passcode and entered the wrong one at least 10 times, according to two people familiar with the matter and a photo of an internal Apple store memo obtained by NBC News.

"Very sloppy," said one of the people, a former Apple store employee who was there on the day that Giuliani stopped by in February 2017.

"Trump had just named him as an informal adviser on cybersecurity and here, he couldn't even master the fundamentals of securing your own device."

VERY SLOPPY, Rudy! And ... ten times? All idiots who use the internet and the ringy dingy know that in the modern times, if you're still fuckin' up your password on the third try or so, you better figure out the right password or just reset the damn thing, because you're gonna get locked out.

Of course, we don't know how many PIN numbers Giuliani is dealing with. If the SDNY ever indicts him, we might get a sense for how many weird bank accounts he might be using, and we might think, "Oh, well he just has too many PINs to keep up with, that is all, could happen to any low-grade criminal who is an idiot." (NBC News helpfully reports that it was an iPhone 6, so in case any of you Apple users out there were like "the PINs are six digits now, it's harder than it used to be," let this longtime Apple customer remind you that the 6's still had four-digit PINs.)

NBC News spoke to a bunch of actual security people, from the FBI and elsewhere, who were shocked and appalled that Rudy Giuliani, White House Cyber Expert™, would be going to a commercial store and begging a stranger to open up his phone, saying that kind of lah-di-dah approach to his own technology could make him very vulnerable to hackers and malware from foreign bad actors. Of course, considering the kind of international cohort of garbage criminals Rudy G. hangs out with, maybe that is a feature and not a bug for him.

There are wingnuts on the internet right now going "HAW HAW! The FBI did the same thing, HAW HAW!" because they are wingnuts and therefore their brains have gas leaks, and apparently they don't understand that there is a big difference between the FBI getting Apple's help to break into a suspect's iPhone for which they do not have the password, and having to help Grandpa ChuckleBottom get into his own damn phone without accidentally wiring money to a Nigerian prince. You know, unless that Nigerian prince was offering made-up dirt on Joe Biden, in which case Rudy meant to do that.

Anyway, one of the wingnuts saying "HAW HAW!" is Rudy Giuliani.

OK, Roodles the Clown.

The point of this post is that Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, is good at a lot of things. He is good at iPhone. He is good at butt-dial. He is good at writing words on Twitter and accidentally turning them into links, which are then bought by hilarious people on the internet and redirected to websites that say Donald Trump is a traitor to America.

He is good at doing "dark web scan" on his phone, presumably on a day he hasn't locked himself out of his phone.

Did we mention that he is good at law, and also Constitution? This happened this week.

Aside from confessing part of the crime Donald Trump committed with Ukraine, wanna know what else Rudy Giuliani did there? As Andrew Feinberg helpfully pointed out to him ...

Rudy Giuliani has now deleted his original tweet.

In summary and in conclusion, here is a video from the Chris Hayes show about Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Expert™, which includes Donald Trump talking on camera about how good Roodles is at cyber.

Rudy Giuliani, Cybersecurity Expert | All In | MSNBC www.youtube.com

Amazing.

[NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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