Try to imagine what Republicans would have done if it emerged that Barack Obama's White House chief of staff was actually running his re-election campaign. You can't do it! Your head would explode! Leave aside for the moment that whole fomenting a coup thing. If Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz found out that government employees, whose salaries were paid by American taxpayers, were essentially working full time for the campaign, they'd burn the White House down.

So, before we get into the substance of Mark Meadows's texts, let's acknowledge the threshold scandal that he was the one running point to coordinate both the coup rally and the campaign. Which is FUCKING CRAZY!

And speaking of crazy, last night's Meadows text drop from Talking Points Memo's Hunter Walker and Josh Kovensky focuses on Rudy Giuliani, formerly America's Mayor, now its Crazy Uncle who leaks hair dye at press conferences while accusing dead South American politicians of hacking the 2020 election. (Another TPM writeup, not to be missed, focuses on all the people on January 6 screaming ANTIFA! after explaining how not ANTIFA the whole thing sure seemed!)

Cast your mind back to that day, if you will. It was November 19, 2020. Rudy, Sidney, and Jenna crowded around the podium at the RNC to explain how Trump was totally gonna win this thing thanks to the Elite Super Friends Task Force of Future Bar Sanctionees.


And this.

Rudy Giuliani's Hair Dye Leaks at One-of-a-Kind Press Conference | NowThis

Every normal American was dead of cringe. But not Ginny Thomas, the red pilled Missus of one Justice Clarence Thomas.

“Tears are flowing at what Rudy is doing right now!!!!????????” she texted her pal Mark Meadows during the event.

“Glad to help??” responded a seemingly confused Meadows, who was apparently watching the Sidney and Rudy Show in abject horror.

“Whoa!! Heroes!!!!” replied the emotional Mrs. T.

No doubt Meadows was pleased to see that his friend had recovered from her wee bout of spleen two weeks earlier when she texted the chief of staff to enquire if the rumors were true that “Biden crime family & ballot fraud co-conspirators (elected officials, bureaucrats, social media censorship mongers, fake stream media reporters, etc) are being arrested & detained for ballot fraud right now & over coming days, & will be living in barges off GITMO to face military tribunals for sedition.”

But Rudy continued to be a problem for our man Mark in the White House.

“Frigging Rudy needs to hush…” Rep. Chip Roy groused on November 22, annoyed by Giuliani's incontinence, both verbal and follicular, adding later that “If we don’t get logic and reason in this before 11/30 – the GOP conference will bolt (all except the most hard core Trump guys."

Oh, ye of little faith! Those people hid in a bunker from an angry mob sacking the seat of government, and even that didn't make 'em "bolt."

Trump campaign advisor Jason Miller also had issues with the president's lawyer.

“Chief – need your advice here. Rudy sent me this draft GA legislature petition this evening and asked me to put together a release for Sunday morning blast out, but you’ve made clear who is running our GA efforts,” he texted on December 6. “I’m the only one Rudy sent this to besides Jenna and Boris, so it’s not like a bunch of people know about it, but I don’t want to screw up our other efforts. All guidance appreciated, as the legal turf war thing is new to me!”

Presumably the "legal turf war" was between the competent counsel and the Elite Superfriends, who were more of the "wild allegations first, verify never" school of litigation. Meadows promised to run it up the flagpole with Trumpland attorney Cleta Mitchell, which is perhaps outside the normal duties of a public servant, but probably Meadows was too busy texting to notice.

A week later Miller was back, seeking advice about a press release Roodles wanted to put out in which he regurgitated all the loony conspiracy theories about Dominion Voting Systems and Antrim County and Dead Hugo Chavez. As it turned out, Miller wanted him to do ... not that.

Hi Chief – sorry to be a stalker, but I wanted to make sure you saw the Dominion/Michigan release I emailed to you for review. The Mayor wants to put it out right away, but Eric (rightfully) thinks it doesn’t make any sense. This would be the first time shooting down a Rudy press release request, so I wanted to get your take on this as well. Thank you, Jason

Meadows response is not in the cache of documents provided to the House January 6 Select Committee, so let's just assume that it's really fuckin' bad.

Meanwhile Rudy was trying and failing to get paid.

"Sir, we are airborne on the way to Michigan from Arizona. We’re going to need a hotel for the team and two vehicles to pick us up," Giuilani's pal Bernie Kerik texted Meadows on December 1. "Christina Bobb, Who is our coordinator back in DC does not have a credit card or authorization for these logistics. I reached out to Mike Glassner who Apparently is no longer on payroll. Can you I have some money coordinate with Christina to handle? Thank you sir."

And Kerik wasn't the only member of Rudy's entourage with Meadows on speed dial. His girlfriend Maria Ryan also had lots of advice for Trump, which she relayed through his chief of staff. Here she is advising Trump to appoint Ken "No Butt Stuff" Cuccinelli as special counsel to investigate the election hacking

Dear Mark, I hope you are doing well. I am very happy POTUS has such a smart and honest man as you by his side. I strongly believe in a special counsel for election integrity. I strongly believe it CANNOT be Powell who leads it . K. Cuccinelli or someone of equal prominence. Powell can be named lead investigator or given another title. Also the issue with cyber security. Strongly recommend Radcliffe put out a statement that it was foreign interference, likely cast of characters is China, Iran and maybe Russia. ( unfortunately the media is saying definitively it was Russia but my sources say it is just as likely China- Radcliffe could shed light on this) Our President has been tough on all these nations and we will continue to seek to hold them accountable. These opinions expressed are my own. If I can be of help to you or our President please let me know . Dr Maria Ryan

It's not clear what "sources" the hospital administrator had that gave her special insight on foreign election interference, but it is pretty funny that even she knew Sidney Powell was too crazy eyes to have any public facing role.

And speaking of funny, get a load of Sean Hannity yelling at TPM for breaking the "rules" by asking him for comment on his personal texts with the chief of staff:

“Number one, you’re not allowed to get my number,” Hannity said, adding, “What are your questions?”

When he was informed about the subject of this story, Hannity declared, “You want any interview with me, you have to go through Fox PR.” After assuring Hannity that we would also contact Fox News’ spokeswoman, Irena Briganti, TPM asked him if he thought it was “appropriate” for a member of the political media to do business deals with associates of the former president.

“You think it’s appropriate when you know Fox’s rules to bypass Irena and call me directly?” Hannity asked incredulously, before adding, “You can take your predetermined outcome, which is already written in your head, and write whatever the hell you want. I don’t give a shit. You knew the rules and you didn’t care.”

Hannity subsequently hung up the phone. Briganti did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Whiny snowflakes, the lot of them.


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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