Rudy Giuliani's Ukrainian Chucklefux Would Like To Tell You A Story
Lev Parnas is not going to be ignored, Don! If Trump and Rudy Giuliani are going to enjoy a magical summer of Ukrainian chucklefucking and election interference and then pretend not to know Lev as he goes down for campaign finance fraud, well ... there will be consequences.
Does anyone smell boiled rabbit?
Alrighty then! Joseph Bondy, Lev Parnas's criminal lawyer, has spent the last twenty-four hours on Twitter making it very clear that Parnas has the goods on Giuliani and Trump, and he wants to spill them to Congress if the price is right. Bondy has been feeding details to reporters about Parnas's connections to various Republican figures for a month now.
Two weeks ago he told the Washington Post, "Any sentient being looking at the public record of the president and Parnas together — during intimate dinners, waving to each other at rallies, taking pictures together, and of Parnas's alleged involvement with the president's lawyer Rudy Giuliani — could divine that the president and Parnas knew each other," and promised that his client would cooperate with Congress's inquiry "while scrupulously protecting Mr. Parnas' privileges including that of the Fifth Amendment."
He confirmed to CNN that Parnas and Fruman had a private meeting with Trump during the last White House Chanukah party, during which Trump deputized Parnas to be Giuliani's man on the ground in Ukraine carrying out his mission to slime Joe Biden. Which explains Rudy's yarmulke in this famous photo. (Baruch Hashem, you can't make us take Rudy, we've suffered enough.)
"Mr. Parnas at all times believed that he was acting only on behalf of the President, as directed by his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, and never on behalf of any Ukrainian officials," Bondy told CNN, in a possible attempt to head off charges that he violated the Foreign Agents Registration Act by working on behalf of a member of the Ukrainian government.
Bondy told the New York Times that Giuliani had dispatched Parnas and Igor Fruman to Kiev last May to deliver a message to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy's aide Serhiy Shefir that Mike Pence wouldn't attend the Ukrainian president's inauguration and military aid would be frozen if he didn't pony up the investigation into Joe and Hunter Biden. Shefir confirms the meeting took place, but says military aid was never discussed, as does Fruman's attorney John "Comic Sans" Dowd -- although we note that's not a denial that yanking Pence from the congressional delegation was on the table. And it tracks with Pence aide Jennifer Williams's testimony that she received a call around May 14 saying that Trump had ordered Pence not to attend the inauguration. So, make of that what you will.
Bondy confirmed to the Daily Beast yesterday that Parnas had set up meetings for Devin Nunes and his staffers in an as-yet-unnamed country in Europe last winter at a cost of $16,000 per person per day. A connection the Ranking Member failed to mention when he was busy ranting that Adam Schiff had COLLUDED with the whistleblower.
And Bondy was a source for the Daily Beast story this morning confirming that Parnas actually sat in on Rudy Giuliani's meeting with top Zelenskyy advisory Andrey Yermak just a few days after the infamous July 25 shakedown call. Yermak says Parnas didn't participate in the meeting, but "Giuliani introduced him as his associate/colleague, and probably said his name, but I didn't remember it, and remembered again when I saw Lev Parnas' face on TV and thought that this face looks familiar." Giuliani already admitted to the Post that he "talked to him about the whole package," i.e. the Biden investigations and whatever nonsense Rudy's fillings are telling him today about George Soros and the DNC server.
"Mr. Parnas traveled to Madrid to meet Rudolph Giuliani, where he attended Rudolph's meeting with Zelensky aide Andriy Yermak, and witnessed Rudolph pressuring Yermak on behalf of President Trump to compel Zelensky to announce that his administration was launching a corruption investigation into Joe and Hunter Biden and alleged Ukrainian meddling in the 2016 election," Bondy told the Beast.
As usual, Giuliani issued a cogent denial, refuting each and every allegation.
"Just another attempt to attack me over bull and not focus on Democrat Pay for Play pattern of corruption. Just tell them Firtash had nothing to do with this. I've never met him and don't know him," said Roodles.
Ummmmm .... who was talking about Firtash? Kind of a weird thing to bring up, dude.
Your Wonkette would be the first to admit Parnas is a shaky witness. We're the ones who named him "Chucklefuck," after all. But he seems to know an awful lot about exactly what went down with this whole Ukrainian extortion scheme, from the Yovanovitch ouster, to Rick Perry's interesting suggestions for the state-owned Ukrainian natural gas company, to the illegal back channel to pressure Zelenskyy to make a statement about Joe and Hunter Biden, to the threat to withhold military aid. And he claims to have receipts.
Parnas is pretty clearly begging for an Ollie North-style immunity deal that might well blow up his prosecution in the Southern District of New York. Including his testimony in the official impeachment would undoubtedly provoke a chorus of accusations by Republicans that Democrats are conducting a sordid circus of a show trial. Except ... they're already doing that. So, maybe we can slow down long enough to see what the chucklefucker has to say before we race to the Judiciary Committee? Particularly in light of Rudy's habit of letting his butt and thumbs send texts saying HEY, DID YOU FINISH CRIMING YET? PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE STATUS OF ALL THE CRIMES WE HAVE AGREED TO COMMIT TOGETHER? TEXT ME BACK TO CONSPIRE ABOUT MORE CRIMES!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.