Rush Limbaugh Outraged Republicans Won't Beat Up Hillary Clinton Just Cuz She's A Girl

When's his 15 minutes up?

Limp-dicked criming-while-white sack of farts Rush Limbaugh is mad about a thing, and that thing is how Republicans are so nice and gentle to Hillary Clinton because of her "cervix."

No, we are not making this up.

The all-but-obsolete radio screecher complained recently that Republicans "don't do anything" to criticize or attack Clinton and he's already growing another pilonidal cyst up his ass because he's convinced Clinton's testimony before the House Benghazi Committee To Stop Hillary Clinton From Becoming President Because Benghazi later this week will be a bunch of softball cakewalk questions, since the committee's chairman Rep. Trey Gowdy is known for being oh-so-tender with his false allegations against Clinton because girl vag. Oh, and because Republicans are so chivalrous, they refuse to hit a girl. So lame. If you can't beat a chick exactly how you'd beat up a dude, what is even the point of feminism, huh?

It's because they don't want the Democrats and the media accusing them of hitting the girl. I don't care how much feminism advances, not a thing is going to change in that regard. You're never gonna be able to, figuratively, hit the girl. In other words, the girl is never going to be able to be treated just like a guy.

You can hit the guy. You can hit the guy. You can say, "You know, that guy hasn't paid his taxes in ten years. And that guy, when he was president of the company, and an employee's wife died, that guy didn't care. That guy, he put his dog on the roof of the family station wagon for a vaca--." Can't say that about Hillary. Can't say that about the girl.

Fair observation. No one ever hesitated to express disgust at Mitt Romney's "humanizing" story of that time he strapped his dog (RIP Seamus) to the roof of his car, but the worst thing you can ever get anyone to say about Hillary Clinton is that she murdered Vince Foster. And arranged for the murder of Kathleen Willey's husband and Willey's cat. And personally, intentionally, did Benghazi to four Americans. And she has undermined national security and jeopardized even more American lives by emailing classified information from her personal account.

But that's nothing compared with repeating the Romney family's charming tale of road-tripping in their dog-shit-covered station wagon (gross, Dad!) with poor Seamus on the roof. Why do those fraidy-cat Republicans gotta be so chivalrous when it comes to Hillz?

The Republicans, even if we had advanced to this mythical place of total equality, the Republicans still wouldn't go after Hillary for fear-- out of fear of what the Democrats on the committee will say about them and what the media will say. They'll be afraid of igniting the war on women meme.

Oh god, not the War on Women meme. Anything but that. If Republicans hit Clinton the way they would a man, Republicans will be reluctantly forced to defend themselves by insisting Democrats are the real sexists, and hey, look, the GOP a lady running too, so take THAT, feminazis, and also, if liberals love women so much, how come they defend Planned Parenthood MURDERING ALL THE GIRL BABIES, huh?!?

If only Republicans were able to say what they really think about Hillary Clinton, and maybe beat the crap out of her -- you know, figuratively wink wink wink. Come on, feminazis, if you really care about equality, you'll do something about that.

[Media Matters]


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