Russia Still Leads World In Poisoning, Falling Off Buildings, And Being Beaten To Death 'Accidents'
So here is a very odd coincidence that just happened in Donald Trump's favorite country! Alexei Navalny, Vladimir Putin's most prominent political critic, was arrested last week, and then strangely and suddenly came down with an "acute allergic reaction" and had to go to the hospital on Sunday. Not long after his admission, news started to trickle out that maybe perhaps he did not have an "acute allergic reaction" after all, but rather was poisoned. Crazy, right? Of course, Navalny was arrested just before thousands of Russians flooded the streets this weekend to push for free and fair elections, and also to scream things like "Putin is a thief" and "Russia without Putin!" and "Russia will be free!" Navalny had called for the protests, and we know how paranoid Trump's Russian daddy is about those kinds of things. So basically Navalny, the opposition leader, was getting rushed to the hospital at the same time that good old patriotic Russian citizens were in the streets calling Putin a fuckmouthed thug loser.
Surely this is Hillary Clinton's fault somehow, obviously.
Navalny is back in jail now, against doctors' recommendations:
Details about Navalny's condition were scarce after he was rushed to a hospital Sunday with what authorities said was a suspected allergy attack inside a detention facility where he was serving a 30-day sentence for calling an unsanctioned protest. The 43-year-old political foe of President Vladimir Putin was arrested several days before a major opposition rally Saturday that ended with nearly 1,400 people detained.
Navalny's physician, Dr. Anastasiya Vasilyeva, said his symptoms (swollen face, body rashes, etc.) might well be some kind of chemical poisoning, and that he's "not allergic to anything," calling the notion "absurd." His lawyer, Olga Mikhailova, agreed.
More from the doctor, before Navalny was spirited back to jail:
In a Facebook post, Ms [Vasilyeva] complained that she had been barred from visiting Mr Navalny. But based on what she saw of him through a door, she said he may have been injured by a "chemical substance from a third person".
She said that her suspicions were being fuelled by "certain officials... acting strangely".
"No one is looking for the cause [of his illness], doctors are denied access. There are lies all around," she wrote.
Now, lest we think people are jumping to conclusions and assuming the Kremlin poisoned Russia's most prominent opposition figure to intimidate him and the Russian people -- because why would they ever think that? -- the BBC quotes a tweet from Kateryna Yushchenko, wife of former Ukrainian president and famous 2004 "poison accident" victim Viktor Yushchenko:
"This brings back horrific memories of September 2004. Our doctors also balked at diagnosing what happened to my husband as poison. And some doctors with security pasts tried to cover it up. Recommend Alexei get treatment in Europe ASAP."
Uh oh, he's back in prison now, though. And here we would have figured the Kremlin would have wanted Navalny to receive the finest medical care in all of Russia, and if things got real serious, they might want to transport him to get medical care in a developed country.
Because Wonkette likes to be as fair to the Kremlin as we possibly can, we should also note that PBS quotes a Navalny comrade named Leonid Volkov, who points out that the jail where Navalny is being detained is an absolute "anti-sanitary" shithole, and he knows, because he's been jailed there too. Indeed, the BBC reports that Volkov had a "similar reaction" when he was being held "in the same jail cell." If we worked for the Russian government, we'd find whatever hack-ass low-rent ruble-hungry Russian Igor version of Chip and Joanna keeps renovating buildings with shiplap from Chernobyl and make them STOP THAT SHIT, that's what we'd do. But we don't work there :(
Meanwhile, out there in the streets:
Baton-wielding police on Saturday wrestled with protesters in what might have been the largest unsanctioned protest in Russia in a decade. Opposition activists as well as ordinary Muscovites took to the streets to vent their anger over officials' decision to exclude a dozen independent candidates from the ballot for an upcoming election of the Moscow city legislature, which is dominated by the ruling, pro-Kremlin party.
It sounds like the protests will continue this weekend, and to that we can only say, YOU GO, RUSSIANS! You tell your crap-ass government what the fuck you think of it. Truly, getting called a shithole by the Russian people is Vladimir Putin's Achilles' Heel, so kick him in it.
Wonkette sends thoughts and prayers for Alexei Navalny, but the real kind, not the kind American gunhumpers send when kids get murdered.
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