trump prepared

Big unfortunate surprise, everyone.

Donald Trump was planning to give a big speech tomorrow to commemorate the one-year anniversary of that time he incited a terrorist attack on the US Capitol in an effort to mount a coup against the US government, but he appears to have canceled it because nobody wants to hear from a loser.

You'll be shocked that he's blaming everybody else, in words that don't even make sense.

In light of the total bias and dishonesty of the January 6th Unselect Committee of Democrats, two failed Republicans and the Fake News Media, I am canceling the January 6th press conference at Mar-a-Lago on Thursday and instead will discuss many of those important topics at my rally on Saturday, January 15h in Arizona – it will be a big crowd! What has become more and more obvious to ALL is that the LameStream Media will not report the facts that Nancy Pelosi and the Capitol Sergeant-at-Arms denied requests for the D.C. National Guard or Military to be present at the Capitol. Their emails and correspondence with the Department of Defense exist, but the media won’t ask for this evidence, or report the truth!

Right, yeah, whatever. He continues babbling for another 200 words or so about things that only make sense in the river of deranged batshit that flows through his brain. The great news about that is that we can choose not to transcribe it.

We don't know exactly what made Trump cancel the speech — we can 100 percent guarantee it has nothing to do with the word salad babbling above, because Trump is a pathological liar — but it could be because literally nobody wanted him to speak, including people who are supposedly "on his side." For one thing, Politico Playbook notes this morning that Laura Ingraham pooh-poohed the idea of Trump giving a January 6 speech on her show not long before he made his sad announcement.

Also, GOP senators hated every bit of the idea, and some of them hadn't been completely quiet about that. Politico reported yesterday that Senator Shelley Moore Capito of West Virginia (West Virginia!) said, "I don't think that's a good idea" on Tuesday, and added:

I guess it depends on what he's going to say. But early assumptions are that it's going to be an aggressive statement. I just don't think it's a good idea.

Joni Ernst told Politico she wanted to "stay focused on congressional activities." Pat Toomey sounded similarly uninterested. "And those were the members who decided to even talk about it," added Politico, letting us know that they tried to get even more mean quotes from Republicans but failed.

That doesn't mean they didn't get other comments that were just trying to avoid the question at all costs. "It'll be interesting to see what he has to say," said Mitch McConnell, we imagine rolling his eyes and hating his life right about then. "He's going to do what he's going to do," said Senate Minority Whip John Thune. "There's no benefit on commenting, so I'm not going to comment," said Senator Tim Scott, who was scared to give a comment, we guess.

Maggie Haberman reported last night that there's a much simpler reason Trump canceled his speech, which confirms our earlier theory: because his people told him nobody cared and the media wouldn't pay attention.


The actual president, Joe Biden, and the actual vice president, Kamala Harris, will be speaking at the Capitol tomorrow, on the anniversary of the terrorist attack incited by the previous president.

Bet they'll even carry those speeches live on TV.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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