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‘Sad Thad’ Cochran Reminisces About Simple Joys Of Childhood, Like Sexing Animals

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Well gosh darn it, Thad Cochran, you are just a good ol' fountain of fine video clips today, now aren't you? First we see that you have no idea who this "House Majority Leader" fella is wholost his primary -- Errant Condor, was it? And now there's this tape of you telling a bunch of nice folks in Hattiesburg about your animal-sexin' ways when you were but a wee tad of a Thad. Sen. Cochran, we do believe you have lost the thread somewhere, is what.


Cochran was fondly reminiscing to donors and supporters at Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, talking about the good old days when he would come and visit his grandparents in the area:

“I grew up coming down here for Christmas,” he said. “My father’s family was here. My mother’s family was from rural Hinds County in Utica.”

“It was fun, it was an adventure to be out there in the country and to see what goes on,” he said of his boyhood visits to Hattiesburg. “Picking up pecans, from that to all kinds of indecent things with animals.”

The audience chuckled.

“And I know some of you know what that is,” Cochran said.

This being Mississippi, it is not known whether a legacy of critterdiddlin' will actually hurt the Senator's chances in his runoff against state Sen. Chris McDaniel, who is no stranger to animal sex of at least a metaphorical kind, considering the suggestion that his campaign has engaged in ratfucking.

With this charming tale of life in the bucolic old South, Sen. Cochran also enters the pantheon of Great Southern Political Zoophiles, along with Georgia's Neal "Muleskinner" Horsely and... well, probably a lot of them, really.

[RawStory / Illustration adapted from JohnJoseco]

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Employees in Donald Trump's White House have the career mortality rate of Bubonic plague victims and are less attractive to future employers. Adding to the body count is Darren Beattie, one of Trump's speechwriters who was fired on Friday. It's a hard gig trying to make the thing currently squatting in the Oval Office sound like a functioning human being. Just take a quick look at Trump's E. coli-infected word salad when removed from a sanity-boosting Twitter format.

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In April of this year, Blake Farenthold, the footie pajama-wearing Texas congressman who once lamented that he couldn't challenge Susan Collins to a duel on account of her not having a penis, resigned from office -- several months after news broke that he had used $84,000 in taxpayer money to settle a sexual harassment suit brought against him by Lauren Greene, his former communications director. In the suit, Greene alleged that the Congressman told her that he had "wet dreams" about her and also informed her that she could show him her nipples. Just, you know, normal stuff like that.

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