‘Sad Thad’ Cochran Reminisces About Simple Joys Of Childhood, Like Sexing Animals


Well gosh darn it, Thad Cochran, you are just a good ol' fountain of fine video clips today, now aren't you? First we see that you have no idea who this "House Majority Leader" fella is wholost his primary -- Errant Condor, was it? And now there's this tape of you telling a bunch of nice folks in Hattiesburg about your animal-sexin' ways when you were but a wee tad of a Thad. Sen. Cochran, we do believe you have lost the thread somewhere, is what.

Cochran was fondly reminiscing to donors and supporters at Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, talking about the good old days when he would come and visit his grandparents in the area:

“I grew up coming down here for Christmas,” he said. “My father’s family was here. My mother’s family was from rural Hinds County in Utica.”

“It was fun, it was an adventure to be out there in the country and to see what goes on,” he said of his boyhood visits to Hattiesburg. “Picking up pecans, from that to all kinds of indecent things with animals.”

The audience chuckled.

“And I know some of you know what that is,” Cochran said.

This being Mississippi, it is not known whether a legacy of critterdiddlin' will actually hurt the Senator's chances in his runoff against state Sen. Chris McDaniel, who is no stranger to animal sex of at least a metaphorical kind, considering the suggestion that his campaign has engaged in ratfucking.

With this charming tale of life in the bucolic old South, Sen. Cochran also enters the pantheon of Great Southern Political Zoophiles, along with Georgia's Neal "Muleskinner" Horsely and... well, probably a lot of them, really.

[RawStory / Illustration adapted from JohnJoseco]

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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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