Sam Alito Worries About Wedgies

Aw Don't You Just Want To Save Him From The Mean People-1When we read that young Sam Alito had supported the notion that "no private sexual act between consenting adults should be forbidden" -- not he's not even limiting to groups of two! -- we thought we knew him. Sure he seemed sedate when Bush introduced him, but surely he must be set to trade video collections with Clarence Thomas and pick pubic hairs out of his tallboy. But it turns out this is not the case. Despite Judge Alito's pansexual enthusiasm, he is a complete dork. Which we love.


Dana Milbank's portrait of the would-be SCOTUS included stilted conversations about his professed desire to see South Dakota, descriptions of nerdy attire, and the revelation that not only does Alito don a baseball uniform to coach Little League, but he has been to "baseball fantasy camp and had a baseball card made of himself." This is not some ex-jock reliving his past, this is high school debate champion living out his dream. Sorta makes you want to fix his flood pants and straighten his glasses. We're pretty sure he's gonna get confirmed and everything, but we're worried that that hunky jock Roberts might take his lunch money.

Collegian Alito urged making sodomy legal [AP]

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc