Sarah Palin is so darn mad at that terrible Paul Ryan for not immediately bowing to Donald Trump that she vowed she will work tirelessly to elect his opponent in the Wisconsin primary, at least until she's distracted by a shiny glimmering object and she quits. On CNN's "State of the Union" Sunday, Palin told Jake Tapper Ryan's aggression would not stand, man:

"I think Paul Ryan is soon to be 'Cantored,' as in Eric Cantor," Palin said, referring to the former Republican House majority leader who was ousted in a shocking upset in 2014 when challenger Dave Brat ran to his right in a Virginia primary.

Good thing she explained that, or everyone would have wondered what 1920s singing sensation Eddie Cantor had to do with Donald Trump. She'd probably be mad at him too if she knew who he was.

"His political career is over but for a miracle because he has so disrespected the will of the people, and as the leader of the GOP, the convention, certainly he is to remain neutral, and for him to already come out and say who he will not support is not a wise decision of his," Palin continued.

Palin went on to speculate the reason Ryan didn't immediately announce he'd back Trump was that he simply doesn't want Trump to win the presidency this fall, because that would spoil Ryan's own plans to run for president in 2020. Sarah Palin, after all, knows a thing or two about destroying the presidential aspirations of a prominent Republican.

Palin hadn't yet informed businessman Paul Nehlen, the beneficiary of her decision, that she'd be campaigning for him to defeat Ryan in the August 9 primary, but he's gotta be happy about it. As soon as Ryan expressed doubts last week, Nehlen immediately endorsed Trump, but that won't give him anything like the boost he'll get from Palin's support. Nehlin / Palin -- what could go wrong? (Note that in the above video, Jake Tapper pronounces the guy's name "Nailin'" and Palin pronounces it more like "Kneelin'." Either is rife with comedic possibilities.)

Paul Nehlin certainly appears to be exactly the kind of lunkheaded douchecanoe Palin supporters would also be drawn to. Here he is in a political ad, riding a Harley, showing off his awesome tats, and blaming Paul Ryan for personally ruining the Midwest's manufacturing base, then making it worse by supporting the Trans Pacific Partnership:

We like the part where he walks into the factory in his motorcycle gear, then magically transforms into a shirt and sportscoat, but no sissy tie. Also the part where he challenges Ryan to go mano a mano:

Mr. Speaker, you championed this trade deal. Why don’t you come back to Wisconsin and debate me, man-to-man and face-to-face, on the realities of TPP. And if you don’t want to debate me, maybe we can arm wrestle.

Nothing says machismo like threateningly taking off your safety goggles. Would've been better if he'd spat out a big ol' wad of chaw, too.

[CNN / ThinkProgress]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc