Donate

This July 4th, Sarah Palin celebrated America by announcing that she is quitting the Internet-teevee-channel grift, because quitting is what Sarah Palin does best. In video and text announcements on the Sarah Palin Channel, Governor Quitterface declared that as of August 1, anyone can consume premium, previously paywalled Palin content, because Sarah Palin is getting rid of her paywall for freedom, and not because the Sarah Palin Channel was an economic failure, heavens no.


Palin's video announcement tries to strike an upbeat tone, the way your folks did when they first told you that Fluffy would be living at a farm upstate, where he would have all sorts of room to run and chase chickens, doesn't that sound fun for Fluffy? Here is Palin's statement in full, annotated with relevant links to the Fartknocker Archives:

Hey, I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, and to let you know personally that we're making all of my content free now! It's starting August 1st, everything's free, and just to let you know, that it is an honor to have you subscribe, really it's been so illuminating and still is so illuminating to read and to respond to many of your insightful comments about current events, about so many things goin' on in our world today.

Now, it is with an important presidential election comin' up that we are gonna do this. I just want to make sure that your voices and mine are heard by the widest possible audience across this great land of ours. I really look forward to continuing to hear your ideas and your dreams and your solutions for America. I'm going to share my own too, keep doin' this on Facebook and SarahPAC.com, and on the road as we confront these critical choices that we have in 2016.

Members can find additional information about their subscriptions by clicking on the link below this video. Just know that it means so much that we're taking this journey together. So, keep the conversation going, let's keep at it, keep the faith, and I thank you.

When Yr Wonket first took on the terrible burden of The Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker, we did not believe this day would ever come. But our day of deliverance has arrived, and Yr Wonket is overjoyed, for not only does the dissolution of the paywall obviate the purpose of the Fartknocker Report, but also it means that Yr Wonket was right, dammit, and that we have made good on our early promise to watch the lights go out in the Sarah Palin Channel's eyes.

We are now off to find a buxom nurse, who we will dip and kiss deeply on the mouth, but not in a rapey way this time. We would like to thank Fartknocker for financing this experiment, Editrix, Kaili, and Evan for putting up with Yr Wonket, and all of you for opening up your maws each weekend, that we might cram some more freedom down your progressive socialist throats.

August 1 shall henceforth be known as the day of Grifterdämmerung, the day when the Grifter Princess of the Permafrost finally proved that you can't fool all of the morons all of the time. Like cigarettes, America will still consume Palin-flavored content from time to time when we are drunk. But it is no longer 2008, and we have grown stronger as a people, and Sarah Palin no longer feels like an extension of our right-most political appendage.

Good work getting through this with us, America. We're proud of you.

[h/t The Immoral Minority]

$
Donate with CC
photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc