Let's take a quick break from the horrors of living under the Trump regime and LOL at Sarah Palin like old times! Remember those? Back when whatever Palin did was our biggest story of the week, because otherwise America was doing pretty OK and this nice smart man was president? Ah well. RIP to all that!

Known funny person Sacha Baron Cohen has a new show coming out, and it is called "Who Is America?" He has been punking people, especially Republican politicians and public figures and also Bernie Sanders, which is to be expected from the guy who created the Borat, Bruno and Ali G characters. He's always down for a good punkin'!

Well, he got our High Priestess Sarah Of The Half-Term Quitting And The Turkey Murder Grifting, and apparently he got her good! You might think it'd be hard to take such a scholarly woman to TeaseTown McPrankVille, considering how she reads ALL OF THEM KATIE newspapers every single morning while she lets her ghostwriter do the "job" of writing her Facebook posts. But apparently Sacha Baron Cohen was extra clever and managed to "gotcha last!" both Sarah Palin and her very smart daughter Bristol. And Sarah Palin is angry as a common Track Palin about it!

So she angrily stirred some moose chili in the crock pot while yelling barely intelligible ad hominem profanities at her ghostwriter about the Facebook post what needed to be written in her name. It began:

Yup - we were duped. Ya' got me, Sacha. Feel better now?

He's doing a TV show about how y'all are some fuckin' idiots, Sarah, he's not working through his feelings. Remember that time the "Bruno" character told Ron Paul he wanted to do an interview about Austrian economics but pulled his own pants down and tried to seduce him instead? LOLOL. For the new show, Cohen got Dick Cheney to sign his "waterboarding kit." Point is, IT'S KIND OF HIS SCHTICK.

For my interview, my daughter and I were asked to travel across the country where Cohen (I presume) had heavily disguised himself as a disabled US Veteran, fake wheelchair and all. Out of respect for what I was led to believe would be a thoughtful discussion with someone who had served in uniform, I sat through a long "interview" full of Hollywoodism's disrespect and sarcasm - but finally had enough and literally, physically removed my mic and walked out, much to Cohen's chagrin. The disrespect of our US military and middle-class Americans via Cohen's foreign commentaries under the guise of interview questions was perverse.

Oh fuck you, you barely sentient Wasilla windsock. The joke is YOU, not veterans. The joke is always YOU, and it is NEVER VETERANS.

Here is my challenge, shallow Sacha boy: go ahead - air the footage.

He will.

And as an aside, for further insight into the wealthy corporate enablers of this kind of "joke", I'll add that after great costs on our part in time and resources to contribute to their "documentary" the Cohen/CBS/Showtime production team purposefully dropped my daughter and me off at the wrong Washington, DC airport after the fake interview ...


And they missed their flights and everything, apparently because the mother-daughter team of Sarah and Bristol Palin can't rub two brain cells together well enough to use the time-tested method of "LOOK OUT THE CAR WINDOW AND SEE IF WE ARE GOING TO DULLES OR REAGAN NATIONAL."

Feel good and manly about your M.O., Sacha?

He's fine, Sarah, he's fine.

By the way, my daughter thinks you're a piece of ****, Sacha.

And she was a loser on "Dancing With The Stars," too, STINKY SACHA, so you'll never work in this town again, once she calls her people to tell the bigwigs about what happened!

We extend our thoughts 'n' prayers to the Palin family upon this occasion of Sarah 'n' Bristol being humiliated and exposed as the idiots they are. We suggest they deal with it the same way they've dealt with it the other 10 million times they've looked like morons in public, which if we remember correctly, is heavy drinking.

Bottoms up, Palins!

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[Sarah Palin Facebook]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

Keep reading... Show less
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