Sweet Jesus there are actually like four separate Sarah Palin items in the news today, and at the rate they are piling up there will be 12 more before this even gets wrote.

First! Sarah Palin called the father of her grandson a "deadbeat dad" and snarled at the TMZ reporter to "get a clue." That does not seem like good grandparenting or in-law-ing, to raise your grandchild with the notion that his daddy is a deadbeat, even when he probly is! Also, Sarah Palin does not have a pretty voice :(

Then, Sarah Palin filibustered Matt Lauer for a while about Obamacare, all like, "there have been many alternatives proposed, and they have been proposed as alternatives to that which has been proposed, for the proposals, which have been extant in their propositions, proposedly." Just kidding, Sarah Palin did not say "extant." You know who thought Sarah Palin "ate Matt Lauer's lunch"? Hint: It is the Gateway Pundit.

Also, Sarah Palin said an idiot thing about slavery:

"Our free stuff today is being paid for by taking money from our children and borrowing from China," Palin said at the Iowa State Fairgrounds, according to the Des Moines Register. "When that money comes due – and this isn’t racist, but it’ll be like slavery when that note is due. We are going to beholden to the foreign master."

Actually, saying we will "be holden" to the Chinese is racist to slavery and to Chinese people, like, we have already been through making analogies to slavery, and how DON'T, and also, what are you implying Sarah? Are you implying that the shifty Chinee will do things to our white nubile slave bodies? (YES.) (Also: sign us up!)

And finally, much-missed commenter Barb sends along this idiot fucking thing.

Cheap-shotting the duly elected president of the United States while decrying "political manipulation"? Check. Being a cunt while talking about the Baby Jesus, wrapped up there in his swaddlin' clothes? Yup. Using Christmas's season of goodwill to men to bash everyone who's not like you? Yes'm. And most importantly, claiming that it's not about presents and whatnot when the ENTIRE FIRST EXCERPT is about the crap tschotskes Todd Palin would pick up at the tourist junk stand, and how she would steal all the best presents during their bouts of the beloved "Here Is a Game With A Name That Is Racist Against Inuits." WE ALREADY LISTENED TO IT, SARAH.