Sarah Palin Waiting For God To Tell Her What To Quit Next

She's all philosophical 'n' stuff

Sarah Palin's on a book tour for her Very Own Crappy Bible what she wroted herself, and Tuesday was her day to pitch it on ABC's Good Morning America, where host Robin Roberts asked the half-term quitter the question on every American's mind: "Will you ever shut up and go away?" Unfortunately, Roberts got all confused and asked the question in completely different words, which came out as, "What would it take to get you back into politics, and do you have your eye on a particular office?" Sister Sarah allowed as how it might just be possible to lure her back into public service, as long as you're willing to define "public service" really loosely:

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What it would take is just knowing the American public would be ready for, again, someone goin' rogue, you know, callin' it like they see it, and having the experience that they believe could be put to good use in the name of service. If I really felt that was there in terms of support, then I'd be more than willing to serve.

Translation: Not a chance in hell, but SarahPAC is still accepting donations and I need to keep acting like I might run someday, because what am I gonna do, get a job?

Also, too, Sarah is certainly not the one running her own life, because God is the Boss of her:

And also, ya know, livin' my life, putting it in God’s hands, knowing that you just never know what door may be opened, and if a door is open, I’m built to run through it, man. Charge through it, live life vibrantly and help others!

This should be considered fair warning to Palin's neighbors not to leave their doors ajar, lest she come bounding in like a Labrador retriever and pee on the ottoman.

[contextly_sidebar id="4zDyzxDR3WPrLf4hbfI4W14Gdgtw70lW"]As the interview continued, Roberts asked Palin for her insights into Republican resistance to the resettling of Syrian refugees in their states. You will be astonished to learn that she is pretty impressed at how these governors are serving as their states' "first line of defense" to protect the people of their states, especially since the federal government is doing nothing to protect us from the hordes of Syrian refugees that are really disguised ISIS operatives (ABC helped a whole lot by showing Palin in split-screen with shots of crowds of refugees in Europe, who are not the people seeking asylum in the U.S.) The governors, Palin explained, are asking themselves:

"What can I do within my authority as a state official to make sure that the people are protected, to make sure we know who's coming into our state, to make sure on a practical level, how it is that we would even be able to fund the services that these refugees would need?" And these governors are being very prudent in their hesitation, in their caution before saying 'Hey, any and all come in," when there's not a vetting process.

Quick! How many lies/errors in just that sound bite? Forget it -- quicker to point to the one thing that actually is partly a state issue: funding for social services for refugees comes from a combination of state and federal resources, so she got exactly one thing half-right. Honestly, for Sarah Palin, it may be a new high score.

In any case, Sarah was really grateful for the opportunity to be on the show and talk about her Biblical Devotional, which includes some great inspirational Bible thinkers, like this guy:

Plato said, "Be nice to everyone, 'cause everyone's fightin' a battle, everyone has a challenge out there." So just wantin' to encourage people to don't be fearful, to live life vibrantly, and if you're seeking're gonna find 'em in The Word.

Roberts then thanked Palin for her "extremely uplifting" thoughts. Which apparently involve a Plato quote that had nothing to do with Plato -- as Lincoln said, "Don't trust any quote you find on the internet" -- and reminding us to be kind to everyone who's dealing with their own struggles, unless they're scary Muslim foreigners who are escaping a civil war. We wonder if this Bible thought (Leviticus 19:33-34) is in Sarah's devotional?

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.

Pfft, don't be stupid! We aren't talking about Egyptians!

[RawStory / Quote Investigator]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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