Sarah Palin Was Someone's 'Achiever' Of The Year. Let That Sink In.

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When we saw that Sarah Palin had been named someone's "Achiever" of the year of our lord 2014, unfortunately, we were forced to read on. BUT HOW did someone name the former half-term governor "achiever" of anything, we asked ourselves! Did she even have a reality show this year? (Unknown.) Luckily, Bristol "Lefty" Palin was there to answer.


Well, I am happy to share that my mom Sarah Palin made Time magazine’s “100 Most Influential People” list AND the Smithsonian Institution’s “100 Most Significant Americans Of All Time” list!

The American Thinker website named her the “American Achiever of 2014″ for those accomplishments!

Oh. So her "achievements" in 2014 were ... being included in two big clickbait listicles. That is ... I mean ... aw fuck, these brains are NOT going to come off this puter screen, are they?

But hell, let's click on through to the thoughts of the American "Thinker," and see if maybe they had some more "achievements" for the grifter queen. Why, what's this byline? M. Joseph Sheppard? Oh dear, we're in for a rough one, aren't we?

For those of you who aren't familiar, M. Joe has a bit of a hate-hate relationship with yr Wonkette and yr Editrix's boobs. He has written many posts on them! (The boobs. It's like he just can't help it.) He is not, generally, what we like to call "intellectually honest." He even acts like he does not like our boobs, while posting picture after picture of them! (Sadly: clothed.)

Here's one:

Wonkette's editor, one Rebecca Schoenkopf, has resorted to the truly desperate means of trying to garner attendance at her sad and lonely Wonkette "Wonk Off" Road Show. Knowing that her audience of layabouts and perverts includes lesbians and older males, and she has, once again, thrown them pink meat in a scandalous and shocking display of her breasts.

Pink meat? That's fuckin' disgusting, M. Joseph Sheppard!

But most of the pictures of our tacky, tacky boobs are here, under the clever title "Holy Cow Mammaries." No he does not like them, no, not at all!

Also, our brother said very mean words to M. Joe, and M. Joe likes to tweet weird shit at our husband a lot? Reason or reasons unclear. (Just kidding, he's a pervert.)

So what we are saying is M. Joe Sheppard is a complete fucking obsesso weirdo; he's the "editor" of like 1050 Sarah Palin fansites (from New Zealand), and apparently he is writing for the American Thinker now. Let us peruse his words of wisdom words!

It would be the height of churlishness for even the most inveterate leftist to deny the import of someone who made Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People" list, and then the Smithsonian Institution's "100 Most Significant Americans Of All Time" list. Both affirmations were earned by former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

OK, good lede, M. Joseph Sheppard! So we're on the same page, that is the same Time Magazine that regularly names people like Adolf Hitler "man of the year," because influence is not always good, right? OK, just checking.

But let's move on to our next "achievements."

Governor Palin endorsed 22 candidates for various offices during the midterm finals, including senators, governors, lieutenant governors, congressmen, and attorneys general. Of those so endorsed, an incredible 20 were elected – contrasted with, for example, Hillary Clinton's record of 8 wins out 24 endorsed candidates.

Warning: the link in the preceding blockquote goes to one of M. Joseph Sheppard's many Palin wanksites. If you are a professional web designer, or a person with eyeballs, please do not click through.

HAHA you have to see it anyway:

Oh look! It's us! And Sheppard is doing that cute "lying" thing he loves to do, where he says the opposite of a thing that is true, because Palin, in fact, donated a TOTAL of $5000 that election cycle to all candidates, not, as Sheppard would lie, $5000 each to many. We have the screenshots! Really! Click through! [contextly_sidebar id="nW4hmVeKmzSJs6FCL34n6EYjv4RHf9mt"]

Anyhoo, Sarah Palin endorsed a bunch of people, many of whom then won. BUT IS THAT ALL? It is not all.

She said that Putin would attack the Ukraine, and then Putin attacked the Ukraine, and that is why Sarah Palin is the queen of 2014, and it has nothing to do with her daughter's mean left hook (which is actually the only actual news Sarah Palin was involved with the entire year because of how she no longer has an office or a job that isn't yelling at Barack Obama to stop eating dog, on her Faceplace page.

[Bristol's "blog"]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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