Bad news for Donald Trump, should he be interested in running away and hiding and putting his head between his legs because he is a loser who isn't strong enough to watch Joseph Robinette Biden's inauguration as America's first duly elected president since the end of Barack Obama's second term. He's running out of options for places that will have him. WOMPITY WOMP WOMP.

The Sunday Post in Scotland reported Sunday that all the signs were there that Trump might be planning on running away to his Scottish Turnberry resort on January 19, the day before the Biden inauguration, for crying by himself purposes. Turnberry, of course, is one of the properties Trump owns that doesn't make any money, because he's shitty at business. Anyway, the Prestwick Airport was "told to expect the arrival of a US military Boeing 757 aircraft" on January 19, one of the planes that's usually used by that fuckin' orange idiot, and also by Melania and Mike Pence. There have reportedly been Army planes going around Turnberry doing the types of things they do before Trump shows up, ever since November.

But wait, we thought! Aren't there massive coronavirus restrictions happening all over the UK right now? Would somebody as obviously stinky and contagious as Donald Trump even be allowed into Scottish airspace?

Well first of all, Turnberry is indeed mostly closed, because of the gigantic corona outbreak in the British Isles. And now Nicola Sturgeon, the First Minister of Scotland, has made very clear that Trump's scaly ass is not welcome in her country:


Under new lockdown laws, it is illegal to travel in or out of Scotland for any non-essential purpose.

She said: "We're not allowing people to come to Scotland without an essential purpose and that would apply to him just as it would apply to anybody else.

"Coming to play golf isn't what I would consider to be an essential purpose."

Also coming to Scotland to cry and hide and cry some more is not essential, because fuck his feelings is why.

Sturgeon literally said out loud that "everybody hopes" Trump's only travel plan is "to exit the White House," before kinda laughing and correcting herself to clarify that maybe not everybody hopes Trump will leave the White House, but at least "expects" it. Watch it, because it's fun:

The White House is not denying these reports about Trump wanting to run away and cry in Scotland. Sure, White House comms idiot Judd Deere is stomping his feet and clapping his hands like "You don't know! Fake News!" but he always does that.

Point is, Scotland might not work. And really, Scotland is not the greatest idea, because of how it is an ally and is probably DTF for some extradition if New York AG Letitia James asks real nicely.

Meanwhile back at another of Trump's gaudy trash palaces, Florida state Rep. Omari Hardy, who represents West Palm Beach, is pushing for county officials to shut Mar-a-Lago the fuck down after its maskless New Year's Eve superspreader events.

"I recognize that the President is a powerful person and that his business, Mar-a-Lago, is a daunting target for enforcement, but the law is the law. The County's mask mandate applies to all businesses in Palm Beach County. The presidency does not confer to the President and his friends a special privilege to endanger the health and welfare of Palm Beach County's residents," Hardy said in the letter. [...]

"Mar-a-Lago is a club. A club is a business. Businesses must abide by Palm Beach County's mask order, or be fined or even shut down," Hardy tweeted Friday.

So that's sad.

This after all those terrible mean people in Palm Beach have been trying to say Donald Trump isn't even allowed to live and cry at Mar-a-Lago full time anyway, because of how the contract for buying it specified that it must remain a private club and not a residence, and it just seems like nobody wants Donald Trump anywhere.

The point is that Donald Trump is welcome nowhere. Maybe somebody should tell him the entire world is closed to him starting January 20, since it's going to take everybody so long to deep-clean everything to get the smell of his ass off of it, just to cause him more emotional pain.

Whatever, dude, GTFO.

[WPTV West Palm Beach]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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