Scott Brown Senator Of Bike Shop Now, LOL
Remember that loser Scott Brown? Man, we miss making fun of that guy -- for being a Masshole, and then a "virtually born" there phony from New Hampshire, and also pimping his daughters, and partying with the pumpkin riot bros, and then hahahahahahaha getting his butt kicked by New Hampshire Lady Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, even though she's just a dumb lady who doesn't know what real people care about. (Not chick stuff. Obviously.)
The former Republican U.S. senator from Massachusetts started volunteering at the store in December, about a month after narrowly losing the Senate race to Democrat Jeanne Shaheen. Since then, Brown has learned the basics of bike maintenance and repair. He’s also assembled almost 40 bikes under the guidance of longtime mechanic Dean Merrill.
“Back in December, I came in and said, ‘Listen, I don’t need a job, I don’t need any money, but I’ve always wanted to learn how to put together and take apart bikes',” Brown said during a recent interview.
That's odd, because bikes are for rich elitists, and Brown is a real man o' the people. He drove a truck that one time and everything! But now that he doesn't have a job, and doesn't need one because of all of that man o' the people money he has, fixing bikes gives him a reason to get out of bed every day and get "out of the house." Which isn't to say that he doesn't miss serving the people of the great state of Bqhatevwr, like he used to do:
There are things Brown misses about the U.S. Senate, particularly the ability to help constituents. During his time in office, he said he helped people obtain organ transplants, finalize adoptions and receive health care through the Veterans Administration.
That's funny, we don't remember Brown being so servicey to his constituents, although we do remember his promise to New Hampshire voters that if they elected him, he'd do a whole lot of nothin' for them:
Here’s the thing, people say, what are you going to do to create jobs, I am not going to create one job, it is not my job to create jobs. It’s yours.
We're real happy for you, Scott Brown. Sounds like you found a way to make yourself kinda sorta slightly useful?
Jeff Latimer, who bought the bike shop six years ago, said Brown has been a big help. In addition to volunteering to put together bikes, Brown routinely takes big cardboard bike boxes to the dump. Latimer hopes Brown sticks around for a while, although that might not happen.
“This is a 'bucket list' thing,” Brown said of his time at the bike shop. “I have a few more that I am looking forward to doing, then I have to get back to business.”
Well, once you've scratched that itch sufficiently and are ready to get back to the business of losing elections again, we hear there's a big one coming up in 2016, and what with all the other clowns in that race, we think you'd fit right in. And oh, we'd really enjoy watching you lose that one too. Brah.