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Oh, Scotty! When you've lost Fox News, you are well and truly fucked! On Tuesday we took you on a whirlwind tour of EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt's many fascinating ethical entanglements. The $50/night condo from an energy lobbyist, the fat raises he gave to his two prized staffers from Oklahoma out of Clean Water funds after the White House explicitly nixed the idea, and the ongoing investigation of his gargantuan travel and security expenses. Our Scott is a busy guy!

Since then we've learned that Pruitt used his favorite Oklahoma staffer to find him a new apartment -- a massive ethical no-no, even if you believe she only called the realtors after business hours. (Which, well, color us skeptical.) A government employee cannot be asked to do non-government work for her supervisor. That is not a thing!

And then Kevin Minoli, the EPA ethics official who dummied up that memo last week saying Pruitt's lobbyist sublet was totally kosher, has started to back away from it. Don't take him the wrong way, see. Minoli wasn't saying that Pruitt didn't change EPA policy to favor his landlord Steven Hart's clients. And he wasn't saying that Pruitt's actual living arrangements were cool. All he was saying is that the words on the lease are okay. So don't blame Kevin Minoli for whatever shit is coming down the pike, thankyouverymuch!

Plus that phone call where John Kelly supposedly told Pruitt that it was all good and the White House had his back? Yeah, not quite. The Daily Beast reports,

Is there anything else that “hasn’t come out” yet, Kelly asked, according to three Trump administration sources. The chief of staff then impressed upon Pruitt that, though he has the full public confidence of President Trump for now, the flow of negative and damning stories needed to stop soon, as one source briefed on the contents of the call described.

“[It] was not a friendly buck-up call at all,” is how another Trump administration official described the conversation to The Daily Beast.

And that was before The Atlantic dropped that bombshell about his two pals from Oklahoma getting raises!

So Pruitt went in search of a friendly audience. Unfortunately, Ed Henry forgot that he works for Rupert Murdoch's Stooge and Toady Channel and actually did real journalism yesterday. Also unfortunately, Scott Pruitt talks like a guy on speed who just got caught shoplifting a pork roast at the Piggly Wiggly.

HENRY: If you're committed to the Trump agenda, why did you go around the President and the White House and give pay raises to two staffers?

PRUITT: I did not. My staff did, and I found out about that yesterday, and I changed it.

You wouldn't be lying to Ed Henry's face, would you, Scott? You know every journalist DC already filed a FOIA request on who ordered those raises, right?

HENRY: Both of these staffers who got these large pay raises are friends of yours, I believe from Oklahoma, right?

PRUITT: They are staffers here in the agency.

HENRY: They are friends of yours.

PRUITT: Well, they serve a very important person.

HENRY: And you did not know that they got these large pay raises?

PRUITT: I did not know that they got pay raises until yesterday.

Oh, lookie here! Seems that Susan Dravis, one of Pruitt's top aides, abruptly resigned last week. Guess we know the buck stops somewhere below Scott Pruitt. Or it is a mighty coincidence, who can say? ETA: We forgot to mention that Dravis used to date wifebeater Rob Porter, because of course these people are all sleeping together. She's the one who told Don McGahn that both of Porter's ex-wives had accused him of abuse.

Then Henry helpfully reminded the EPA head of that time in 2016 when he said that Trump was "an empty vessel when it comes to things like the Constitution and rule of law." So that's nice.

And just this morning deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley told Fox News, "I can’t speak to the future of Scott Pruitt."

Keep checking Trump's Twitter feed, Scotty! We hear that's where all the big HR decisions get announced.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Are you a fairly regular Wonkette reader and have had a nagging little voice for some time saying “you should throw Wonkette a buck every month”? That is called your conscience. Listen to it! It feels good!

[FoxCNN / Daily Beast]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Photo by Wonkette Operative 'Teecha'

If it's Sunday, this must be Nice Things, our weekly escape from the quotidian awfulness. Our featured doggo this week comes via a photo by Wonkette reader "Teecha," and we don't think Teecha mentioned a name for this lovely old rescue dog. If it is a dog at all: I think it may actually be one of Sia's more inventive disguises, like that time she was a little pony.

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The producers of your favorite live-action Jack Chick pamphlet, "God's Not Dead" -- you know, the one where the Hercules dude plays an evil philosophy professor who tells all of his students on the first day that they are no longer allowed to believe in god? As all secular professors do? -- have come out with a thrilling new movie, all about how abortion is bad or whatever.

The movie tells the "true" story of Abby Johnson, a former Planned Parenthood clinic worker turned professional anti-choicer. Johnson has been a darling of the forced birth circuit ever since she made up ridiculous and provably false reasons for quitting the Planned Parenthood that was about to fire her for being bad at her job.

Basically, she claims that Planned Parenthood was pushing her to make more abortions happen so they could reel in more dough, and also that she witnessed (for the first time ever!) an ultrasound-guided abortion and saw the baby move from the light and then immediately realized that what she was doing was wrong.

The thing is, however -- no ultrasound-guided abortions were performed on the day she said it happened, and the only reason there was an uptick in abortions at her clinic was because they started offering the abortion pill on a daily basis (and had previously only been performing surgical abortions every other Saturday).

As you may have guessed, the movie does not address any of these things. It also looks very, very bad.

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