Supreme Court Investigates 'Dobbs' Leak, Excludes Likeliest Suspects, Comes Up Empty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They found the dastardly, dirty Dobbs leaker and it is ... nobody. Ah, well, guess we can all go home now. LOL.

It is more than a little rich to watch the Supreme Court's histrionics regarding the leak to Politico of the draft opinion of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization that overturned the constitutional right to an abortion in Roe v. Wade — as if the tragedy here was that American women found out they'd be losing civil rights on May 2, 2022, and not seven weeks later on June 24. It really takes some balls to howl about the "grave assault on the judicial process" while blithely forcing victims of sexual assault to carry their rapists' babies to term.

And not for nothing, but shredding stare decisis and tossing out 50 years of judicial precedent to relegate women to second class citizens and then hyperventilating that "the integrity of judicial proceedings depends on the inviolability of internal deliberations" is a bit much.

With that preamble, let's turn to this clown cop leak investigation the Supreme Court conducted, in which it interrogated 97 members of the Court's staff, even demanding "call and text detail records and billing statements for their personal devices" from some of them.

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SCOTUS Won't Let Mormon Trumpet Band Overturn 2020 Election

QAnon people really thought this was gonna be it.

In an entirely unsurprising move (even with its current makeup), the Supreme Court has decidednot to hear a case brought by three Utah brothers seeking to overturn the results of the 2020 election and kick President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris out of office, along with almost 400 members of Congress, and then reinstate Donald Trump as president of the United States. The case was considered on Friday — coincidentally the two-year anniversary of Trump supporters invading the Capitol in hopes of preventing Congress from certifying the election — and on Monday it was announced that the Supreme Court had turned down their petition.

The Brunson Brothers are not just a bunch of conspiracy-obsessed weirdos. They are a bunch of conspiracy-obsessed weirdos in a family band — a Mormon family trumpet band that once played on "The Tonight Show" with some regularity and also regularly performed with Jay Osmond, one of the lesser-known Osmonds.

While all of the brothers are very upset about the 2020 election, the actual plaintiff in Brunson v. Adams is Raland Brunson, who intended to represent himself. His brother, Loy Brunson, also filed an identical lawsuit, and both of them were written by their other brother, Deron Brunson. Deron Brunson is not a lawyer but took an online course called "How To Win In Court Without A Lawyer," which is just as good as going to law school. They also have a fourth brother, Gaynor, who was "too busy" to be involved, though I strongly suspect he might actually be actor Michael McKean doing a bit.

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Joe Biden Ready To Cancel Supreme Court's College Loans Or Something

Oh, defending loan forgiveness at the SCOTUS, that's it.

Politico reports that the Biden administration is preparing to defend its student debt forgiveness program in the US Supreme Court, filing an initial brief in the case that argues the program is perfectly cromulent under authority Congress granted to the federal Department of Education in a 2003 law. The debt relief plan, you'll recall, forgives up to $10,000 in federal student loan debt for most qualifying borrowers, or up to $20,000 for folks who received Pell grants when they went to college.

A group of six Republican-led states sued to overturn the law, claiming it will deprive them of revenue; the SCOTUS case also combines that with a second lawsuit brought by a rightwing group on behalf of two borrowers who didn't qualify for the program — this food is terrible and such small portions! The Supremes are scheduled to hear arguments in the case in February, and will probably decide sometime in June that not only must students pay loans back in full, but they must also get pregnant at their earliest opportunity or go to jail.

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Supreme Court Tells Joe Biden Only Trump Can Do That

Immigration edition.

The Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that Title 42, the Trump administration policy that allows for rapid deportation of most undocumented immigrants even before they can request asylum, will stay in place while the Court considers a lawsuit brought by Republican states. The Biden administration has been trying to wind down Title 42 for much of the year.

Most recently, the program was supposed to end on December 21, but then Arizona and 18 other red states sued to keep it in place. The Supremes poked their heads out of their burrows yesterday, saw Stephen Miller's shadow, and voila, we have six more months of Title 42. The Court will hear arguments in the case in February, and isn't likely to change its order blocking the end of Title 42 until it issues a final decision in June, or ever.

As is his occasional wont, Neil Gorsuch voted with the three liberals on the Court to reject the states' appeal, but the other five Republican appointees voted to hear the case. The Court won't even be ruling on the constitutionality of Trump's use of Title 42 to exclude immigrants during the COVID-19 pandemic that no Republicans take seriously.

Rather, the justices will be considering whether states can appeal a lower court's ruling that ordered the Biden administration to end the policy. Yes, the case really is about whether states can demand in federal court that a former president's executive orders must remain active two years into the succeeding presidency, on the principle that Republican presidents have nearly limitless executive authority while Democratic presidents must be reined in from abusing their power.

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