Are you a writer what got no job? Then you will not want to read the following, in which we hire ANOTHER person, as it will probably make you want to eat your own liver. And livers are not like hearts or kidneys. A liver is an organ YOU ACTUALLY NEED!

Last week, we told you that -- thanks to you, the loyal Wonker -- we were creating ONE ENTIRE JOB. (Actual picture, not kidding, of Doktor Zoom at the link.)

Last week we also told you that we had seen a hilariously dumb panel about monetizing content for the web, and really their only advice was that, like Politico and Andrew Sullivan, you should charge people to look at your shit. WELL WE SAID NO THANK YOU. Too many of our readers are poor and homeless and covered in scabies and sadness for us to put up paywalls. NO PAYWALL CAN HOLD YOUR WONKET! But we did finally (finally) and thanks to the help from one ShyPixel, put up our annoying little "send us money" noodge. And did you? IN FACT YOU DID.

So fuck it, we're hiring Snipy now too. (Not pictured above.)

La Snipy is leaving her Bob Law Law Job to come and blog full time for Wonket and our as yet unnamed arts and entertainment site, which she will pretty much run except for how we are actually a little bit of a micromanager maybe. She lives in Minnesota, where she's totally a lesbian and also spends time actually watching the coverage of the Met Gala or whatever? Who would do that? She has a bunch of dogs, and probably a Subaru or else a motorcycle, who can know?

She will start September 1.

Onset of lesbian bed death TBD.

We think you will agree we are putting your money to fucking sexcellent use. Do feel free to send more!