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Golly gee, it seems like Donald Trump might have just stepped on his own dick again, in revoking the clearance of former CIA director John Brennan, who was integral to planning and executing the mission that killed Osama bin Laden, who, if the president has forgotten, was a radical theocratic fuckwad Islamic terrorist who murdered thousands of Americans on September 11, 2001. (Remember, Donald? You lied about seeing Muslims dancing in the streets that day in New Jersey.)

It's weird how when Donald Trump comes for real American patriots, real American patriots clap back harder, stronger, and with a much louder clappy THWAP! sound than Trump could ever muster (because their hands are normal-sized, as opposed to when Trump claps, which probably sounds like a mouse angrily trying to jerk off).

Admiral McRaven -- or more properly retired Admiral William H. McRaven, who led the Navy SEAL team that fucking murdered Osama bin Laden -- has penned an op-ed in the Washington Post saying that if Trump is revoking security clearances, then please go ahead and take his too, because he'd like to be counted among the patriots who love this country, like Brennan, who speak out against the thin-skinned flabby-ass tinpot dictator wannabe squatting in the Oval Office. He of course said it nicer than that:


I would consider it an honor if you would revoke my security clearance as well, so I can add my name to the list of men and women who have spoken up against your presidency.

Like most Americans, I had hoped that when you became president, you would rise to the occasion and become the leader this great nation needs. [...]

Your leadership, however, has shown little of these qualities. Through your actions, you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage and, worst of all, divided us as a nation.

If you think for a moment that your McCarthy-era tactics will suppress the voices of criticism, you are sadly mistaken. The criticism will continue until you become the leader we prayed you would be.

TL;DR FUCK YOU, SHITWAD.

Trump knows exactly who McRaven is, or at least he did a few years ago, when his brain was less deteriorated than it seems to be right this second. He used McRaven's name to shit all over America's last real president, the one who had the Big Dick Energy Trump has been craving his entire life but will never possess:

It's abundantly clear that Trump doesn't have the very good brain, the quickness of wit, the internal strength, or the proficiency in the English language to withstand attacks from his critics.

This is only the beginning, and there are more patriots where Brennan and McRaven come from. Oh look, here are some former CIA directors and a former DNI. As Manu Raju points out, this is a bipartisan list:

If you click to embiggen and read their statement, you will find our favorite line, which says this:

Since leaving government service John [Brennan] has chosen to speak out sharply regarding what he sees as threats to our national security. Some of the undersigned have done so as well. Others among us have elected to take a different course and be more circumspect in our public pronouncements. Regardless ...

You catch that? Some speak out like John Brennan. Others are "more circumspect." What they are saying is that NONE OF THEM FUCKING DISAGREE WITH JOHN BRENNAN.

So there you go. The flood of patriots is beginning. Hallelujah!

But that's not the only group coming for Trump right now.

Omarosa taped everything. EVERYTHING. And she is so much better at Trumping than Trump is.

And Michael Avenatti and Stormy Daniels are still out there.

An Robert Mueller is like DUN DUN! DUN DUN! And by DUN DUN! we mean ...

AND SO ON.

Trump might as well quit now. He's already going down in history as the greatest laughingstock in ... (checks world history) ... all of recorded history. President-ing only gets less fun from here, shithead!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

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[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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