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Sean Hannity: HUMANITARIAN


Raise your hand if you're surprised that Sean Hannity owns $90 million worth of rental properties. Are you fainting that Fox News's man of the people, who rails against Hollywood elites before hopping on his private jet, has extensive investments? Were you shocked to read in The Guardian that he snapped up dozens of these properties at fire sale prices after they'd been foreclosed on by banks?

NO, OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT. The Hannity Hypocrisy Hour has been on teevee for eleventy years, and we've all developed antibodies by now.

So you accepted with your usual stoicism that Sean Hannity, a guy who spent years screaming that the Obama administration was "picking winners and losers" by guaranteeing loans to clean energy companies, got a whopping $22 million loan guarantee from the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Let's hop in the wayback machine to watch Hannity interview Victoria Toensing (this show needs new characters!) about the Solyndra "Scandal."

Now George Kaiser was one of Solyndra's biggest investors, and according to the Daily Caller, his charitable foundation made a $10,000 donation to the Urban Health Initiative in 2009. And wouldn't you know it, well that was the same year that a controversial half a billion dollar loan to Solyndra was secured. Now, for those of you who may not remember, First Lady Michelle Obama helped create the Urban Health Initiative program before she moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. So, are the two connected, or just another so-called coincidence?

Ooooh, what a fun game! Let's play it Wonkette style!

Now Sean Hannity is one of President Trump's biggest backers, and according to Trump's own advisors, he "basically has a desk" in the White House. Hannity owns tens of millions of dollars of rental property which is secured by federally guaranteed loans. And, wouldn't you know it, he failed to mention that fact when he hosted HUD Secretary Ben Carson on his program in June of 2017. But he did congratulate Carson on the bang up job he's doing at HUD! And Hannity just plum forgot to say that he and Trump shared the same lawyer for 'real estate issues.'

Now for those of you who may not remember, Ben Carson heads up the Department that just this March approved an extra $5 million in loan guarantees on top of the $17 Hannity had already received. So, are the two connected, or just another so-called coincidence?

Wow, that wasn't even hard! Perhaps we can get a job that pays us $36 million per year to persuade Real Muricans to vote against their own interests just to spite brown people!

Don't worry, there's a very good explanation for this. And it is that SEAN HANNITY IS A GODDAMN HUMANITARIAN.

It is ironic that I am being attacked for investing my personal money in communities that badly need such investment and in which, I am sure, those attacking me have not invested their money. The fact is, these are investments that I do not individually select, control, or know the details about; except that obviously I believe in putting my money to work in communities that otherwise struggle to receive such support.

Oh, you heathens thought it was about return on investment? Sean Hannity would have you know that, even though he didn't choose these properties and has no control over them (since 2016 anyway), it's an entirely philanthropic endeavor. Maybe if you would pull yourself up by your $22 million government-backed bootstraps, you could be like Mother Teresa. Or maybe even SEAN HANNITY!

Also, too, he'd like you to know that these properties are the bestest, most well-maintained apartments in the world.

I can say that every rigorous process and strict standard of improvement requirements were followed; all were met, fulfilled and inspected.

To which we at Wonkette say, YA BETTER HOPE THEY ARE, BUDDY! As your buddy Jared can confirm, every reporter in Georgia is out there interviewing your tenants right now, and if they find a leaky faucet it's going to wind up on the six o'clock news. But not on Fox, so you'll probably be fine!

In closing, Sean Hannity would like you all to know that those twenty companies that own 870 units across Alabama, Florida, Georgia, New York, North Carolina, Texas and Vermont are NOT "shell companies."

The LLC’s are REAL companies that spend real investment money on real properties.

Sure they're business entities set up to protect the identity of the property owner and shield him from liability. But they use actual Ameros, not cowries or pesos, so GOTCHA Guardian! Maybe one day if you pray real hard you can learn to journalism good like real life expert reporter SEAN HANNITY!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund us! We haven't worked out yet how to get on the Lyinass Foxploitation Gravy Train!

[The Guardian / NYMag / Hannity.com]

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Once upon a time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers at least claimed to focus their efforts entirely on immigrants involved in criminal activity. Those days are long gone, and now they're going after anyone, including law-abiding people who are just trying to drive their pregnant wives to the hospital to give birth.

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I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. Georgia State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

media.giphy.com

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

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