Sean Hannity Much More Worried About COVID-19 When It's Redneck Kids In Missouri Spreading It
Sean Hannity is suddenly very concerned about the novel coronavirus, and moreover, he even seems to understand how it spreads even among asymptomatic and relatively low-risk populations. Weird, right?
On Tuesday night, Hannity was troubled — dismayed — by that video of kids doing their drunkypartyfucky on Memorial Day weekend at the Lake of the Ozarks, because did you see they weren't even wearing masks? And they were drunkypartyfucky right on top of each other in the swimming pool! That is not proper social distancing, children!
Sean Hannity on Lake of the Ozarks www.youtube.com
"Look, I understand these are young people. Experts keep saying over and over they are at [a] much lower risk. But, if they do get this — and again, there's no mask-wearing here that I see, not much at all; I see no social distancing — but if they get the virus and then are in contact with older and more vulnerable Americans, that could be a disaster for others," Hannity explained. "
That's why, in a short period of time — it's only temporary — if you can't social distance, please wear the mask," he asserted. "Do it for your Mom, your Dad, your Grandma, your Grandpa."
DO IT FOR NANA!
In early March, Sean Hannity told his viewers that Donald Trump, Dear Lord Of Us All had just done a remarkable job of "slow[ing] the spread" of COVID-19. He also told his viewers during that time, multiple times, that COVID-19 isn't even as a big of a deal as the seasonal flu. He told viewers that coronavirus — or the media coverage of it — was a "new hoax" the terrible liberal media Deep Staters were using to "bludgeon" poor pitiful Trump.
As late as mid-April, Hannity was giving HECKUVA JOBS to South Dakota GOP Governor Kristi Noem, congratulating her for never even shutting down her state, even though one of the largest meatpacking plant outbreaks happened right there in Sioux Falls. And he was also giving viewers detailed instructions for how to safely eat hot dog at Yankees games, because Sean Hannity wanted hot dog.
We are not saying Hannity has been the absolute worst Fox News person when it comes to lying to viewers about coronavirus — it's not a contest, y'all! You know, unless it literally is and they are competing for a veritable Showcase Showdown of prizes — but we are saying he's up there. Indeed, a study found that, back in March, there was a statistical correlation between areas with high Hannity viewership and a higher incidence of COVID-19 infections and deaths. And it was specifically Hannity too, because the study also looked at rates of Tucker Carlson viewership vis a vis coronavirus numbers, because at that time, for a brief, blissful moment, Tucker was being a lot more responsible with what he told his viewers.
And we are also not saying Hannity hasn't been extra-sensitive to people pointing out that his coronavirus coverage has been absolute bullshit. He has definitely been that!
But now he is like "OMG YOU GUYS! MASKS! WEAR THEM FOR YOUR NANA!" What gives?
Allow us to wildly speculate about what is obviously going on here, because we think we know what's up.
You see, when the coronavirus pandemic is tearing apart New York City — which is full of liberals and blacks and black liberals and gay homosexuals who don't watch Sean Hannity except as a joke — then coronavirus is a big fake hoax and people don't need to worry about it.
But when it's a bunch of redneck white college kids bumping their down-there mullets in a big swimmin' pool or in Party Cove at Lake of the Ozarks, and then maybe going back home to their parents' houses — many of whom are white Trump supporter houses — then coronavirus is suddenly totally real. Because, you know, MAGA Daddy has had the cancers lately. And because what if they go visit Nana and Pop Pop after that? What if Nana and Pop Pop GET SICK AND DIE and can't even vote for Donald Trump in November?
We get it, Sean. You're a piece of shit.
Thank you for coming to our TED Talk.
*And before any whiny ass decides to whine like "Waaaaaah, Evan is being mean to cultural differences and being a very rude region-ist by calling those drunk southern kids "rednecks," we'll have you know that 1) Welcome, as it is obviously your first time reading, please follow us on Twitter, and 2) We happen to be a card-carrying fuckin' Tennessee redneck who goes to the lake in Missouri twice a fuckin' summer and does redneck shit on boats and inner tubes and whatnot. We just don't do it during pandemics, because we're not stupid. Anyway, fuck off.
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