Sean Hannity Says Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Isn't Lying, We Can All Go Home Now
Do it, Sean Hannity, show America how wrong everyone is, will all your evidence that Carly Fiorina is not lying after all!
HANNITY: You have not told one lie, Carly Fiorina.
See? Case closed!
"That's right," Carly says, and then she launches into a diatribe about how it sure is "rich" of her critics to accuse her of lying when Planned Parenthood is the real liar. Of course, there have been numerous investigations into the accusations against Planned Parenthood, and every single one of them has come up with a big fat zero.
Carly's claims -- that a Planned Parenthood staffer discusses how best to harvest the brain from a still-alive fetus that was just aborted and left to die on a table -- have also been thoroughly examined, fact-checked, investigated, debunked, and proven to be 100 percent NOPE. We have talked about this until we are blue in the face and choking on our own vomit. We cannot do it anymore, unless we take up shooting heroin for lunch, and frankly, we are not fond of needles.
Now, if Sean Hannity is so certain Carly Fiorina has not told one single lie, and this video of hers exists, he could have shown it. He could have said, "See? Here is this video she totally isn't lying about. Everybody WATCH THE VIDEO so Carly will be vindicated."
But, as you might have guessed, that's not what happened. Instead, he sits back and listens to Carly blah blah blah Hillary Clinton sucks blah blah, and then, for kicks, she tells some more lies:
FIORINA: Not only am I not lying, but Planned Parenthood has not, will not, cannot deny that this is happening, because it is, and if they care so much about women's health, why is it that Democrats will not agree to use taxpayer funding to support pregnancy centers all around this country?
Do we really need to assure you that Planned Parenthood has absolutely denied all of these absurd allegations? FINE. Here is Dawn Laguens, vice president of Planned Parenthood Action Fund, with an open letter to Carly Fiorina, denying all of Carly's claims. For example.
And as for the other claim? That Democrats refuse to support "pregnancy centers"? Well, we've been over that before too, haven't we? Sigh, groan, barf. Those thousands of "pregnancy centers" Republicans insist could do an even better job of healthcaring ladies right in their parts do not provide healthcare. They do not even employ medical staff. They just tell you "Don't kill your baby, here's your Bible," and send you on your way. That's different from what the actual doctors and nurses do at Planned Parenthood, with the actual healthcare, to ladies' ladyparts and also to ladies' boyfriends' ladyparts.
But Sean Hannity isn't interested in those kinds of tedious facts. He makes his Super Concerned Face and asks why the government can't just give all that money to "women's health groups that are not involved in the harvesting of baby body parts," and then Carly, who's developed quite the taste for lies, spits some more of those from her persona:
FIORINA: Is President Obama, Barbara Boxer, all of these Democrats — are they really prepared to shut the government down over what is about $500 million that has nothing to do with women's health?
You already know that it was nihilist Republicans in the House (plus Sen. Ted Cruz) who were threatening to shut down the government, and it was the Democrats who stopped that from happening. You've also seen the charts and the graphs and the figures and the links and the interpretative dance and semaphore flags, so you know that the half a billion dollars Planned Parenthood receives in reimbursements for servicing Medicaid patients IS for women's health. So there's another big steaming pile of lies from Fiorina because why stop when she's on a pathological roll?
Besides, Sean Hannity says she hasn't said any lies at all, so it must be true.