Donate

Someone need a diaper change?


It's been a while since family values poster boy and Louisiana Sen. David Vitter (R-Brothel) has addressed the scurrilous accusations that he was a loyal customer of the DC Madam, because oh gosh, that was so long ago, and God and Mrs. Vitter have forgiven him, MOVE ON. And his campaign for governor has done a good job of getting reporters who dare to ask him about that fired for their journalistic impropriety, allegedly.

But the Vitter campaign has had a change of heart, so behold, Louisiana, your wannabe governor's new ad, which he is obviously using to troll all of us, because the damned thing is called -- and no, we're not making this up -- "Hard Times."

(Note: It only took the Vitter campaign a few hours to realize its poor choice of wording and change the name of the ad to "Difficult Times.")

Fifteen years ago, I failed my family, but found forgiveness and love. I learned that our falls aren't what define us, but rather, how we get up, accept responsibility, and earn redemption.

Now Louisiana has fallen on hard times. A budget crisis, low wages, failing schools.

You know me. I'm a fighter. And as your governor, I'll get up every day to fight for you. For a much better, stronger Louisiana.

It's funny that Vitter thinks Louisiana is in deep doo, since its current Republican governor, a certain Bobby Jindal, keeps insisting he's done a real bang-up job of cleaning up the joint, by, for example, shutting down charity hospitals, illegally cutting off Medicaid funding for Planned Parenthood, guaranteeing his state is crawling with STDs, and invoking a non-existent law to protect all the Confederate statues in New Orleans.

The Vitter campaign's decision to vaguely address and dismiss that Hard Time Vitter broke the law, and the vows of his marriage, by fucking prostitutes might have something to do with the not-even-remotely subtle ad released last week by his Democratic rival, John Bel Edwards, which not only goes there, but then drives another 100 miles past there, refills the gas tank, and keeps on going:

The choice for governor couldn't be more clear. John Bel Edwards, who answered our country's call and served as a ranger in the 82nd Airborne Division. Or David Vitter, who answered a prostitute's call minutes after he skipped a vote honoring 28 soldiers who gave their lives in defense of our freedom. David Vitter chose prostitutes over patriots. Now, the choice is yours.

Vitter's campaign had already denied recent allegations that the staunch "pro-lifer" had knocked up his mistress and dumped her like an adult dookie when she refused to abort his love child. So it would be irresponsible for us to speculate that the "forgiveness and love" Vitter found, after undermining the sanctity of his traditional marriage, includes keeping some 'tang on the side and then asking said 'tang to murder his unborn baby.

Polling shows Vitter is expected to have his diapered ass handed to him on Nov. 21, after which he will likely seek a lucrative career on the wingnut welfare circuit, preaching the gospel to Fox News viewers about how liberal Democrat abortions and gay sex are undermining the traditional values he holds so very dear.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc