Sen. Tom Cotton So Glad America Chose Him To Usurp Tyrant King Barack Obama

Not savior material.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Sen. Tom Cotton opened his Arkansan mouth anus again, and what came out was unsurprising. Yes, the babyfaced pig trough of a man who thought, as a brand new perky Republican senator from Arkansas, that it was his job to override President Obama's deal with Iran, now has thoughts on Obama's selection of Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court.

You will die of shock when we tell you they are Bad Thoughts:

I think it's important ... that we let the American people decide. They've rendered something of a split in the last two elections. In 2012, they did elect President Obama, in part to nominate justices and judges. But in 2014, they elected me and a net nine new Republican senators in part to say stop, stop to the Obama agenda of overregulation, executive action, and packing the courts with leftwing judges, sometimes by violating the rules.

So I think we should let the American people decide.

How many stupids did he just say? First of all, the American people did not "render a split." They voted overwhelmingly to re-elect Barack Obama for FOUR MORE YEARS, and part of his job is to appoint justices, BTW and LOL. Then there was a midterm election, which is when all the old white people come out to vote and Democrats stay home, BAD DEMOCRATS.

And yeah, the GOP made gains in that election, but that's neither here nor there when it comes to selecting judges. There is no "Biden rule" that says you can't make SCOTUS appointments during an election season, and you're not "letting the American people decide" when you let Dead Scalia's rectum prints fester on his empty seat on the court while you wait until your magical Republican savior comes along to appoint the next justice. (And presumably, reupholster that fucking chair. Unless Republicans like to sit in Scalia's rectum prints.)

The host, Roby Brock, asks Cotton if hypothetically the American people do not do what Cotton wants, and elect Hillary or Bernie to the White House (which, ahem, looks likely), will they go ahead and vote on Obama's nominee? Because it would seem that if The American People Speak and tell Republicans to get fucked in their shameholes again as far as the presidency is concerned, and since the president is the one who makes these nominations ... SPLAIN YOURSELF, SENATOR:

Senator McConnell has said that we should wait until the next president. ... But clearly if the American people elect Hillary Clinton, or for that matter, Bernie Sanders, then they are going to make this nomination.

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]Uh huh. This is all so transparent. Republicans are praying to whatever Republican gods they worship that they can just diddle their fun spots until the election, after which Trump or Cruz can appoint a rightwing asshole to the court. But the thing is, for all their high and mighty talk about letting the people have a voice, Americans actuallywant the Senate to do its fucking job.

So not only is Tom Cotton a pompous little southern-fried fuckhole who thinks his panties are bigger than they are, he's goddamned wrong. And a bunch of rednecks from Arkansas did most certainly not elect him and his other buddies to save America from that terrible Obama and his very nice Supreme Court nominations.

So fuck Tom Cotton in the dick with a dull pencil, we guess, isn't that how we like to end posts about folks like him?


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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