Senate's Dumbest Republican Gonna Cure COVID With Listerine, OPEN WIIIIIIIDE
Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson, the other day, Tuesday to be specific: How DAAAAAAAAARE YOUaccuse me of downplaying COVID, and also AIDS?
Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson, the next day: DURRRRRR SO MAYBE WHAT IF WE CURE COVID WITH MOUTHWASH? CAN'T HURT, RIGHT? RON JOHNSON LIKES MOUTHWASH! RON JOHNSON'S MOUTH HAS NEVER BEEN SO CLEAN! NO COVIDS HERE!
We're sorry, we don't mean to give the impression those are real quotes from the senator. He's stupid enough on his own and doesn't need Wonkette making up silly quotes to illustrate how stupid he his.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) recommended mouthwash as a treatment for the coronavirus during a town hall meeting Wednesday, immediately drawing criticism for suggesting gargling would offer protection.
See? Stupid enough on his own.
Always a good time to remind everyone that Ron Johnson is also on the horse paste train. Before that he was on the hydroxybonercream train. Now he's fuckbonkers for Listerine. Can bleach be far behind? Some kind of anus cream? What about an anus cream that's intended only for livestock?
Anyway, back to the dumb shit he said about mouthwash:
His latest remarks run up against medical advice from a major producer of mouthwash and health experts.
“Standard gargle, mouthwash, has been proven to kill the coronavirus,” Johnson said, according to an audio recording of his remarks. “If you get it, you may reduce viral replication. Why not try all these things?”
Yeah sure why not. Unfortunately this crap that's made its way into the senator's brain is apparently so prevalent that Listerine now has to explain on its website that its mouthwash doesn't prevent or fix COVID.
The Washington Post tries to explain some of the science the wizard of Wisconsin is clearly confused about:
Though mouthwash can partially kill off parts of the coronavirus in a person’s mouth, most infections occur through the nose, health experts said. “Even if gargling kills some of the virus, it won’t be able to clean the nasal area, nor the viruses that’s already penetrated deeper into the body,” said Kim Woo-Joo, an infectious-disease expert at Korea University.
“We’re looking at how [mouthwash] actually works on the virus itself rather than what it does to the body. I think those are two separate questions,” Nicholas Rowan, an ear, nose and throat surgeon and assistant professor at Johns Hopkins Medicine, told The Washington Post last year.
There's good news, though. According to this next guy, gargling with mouthwash won't hurt you. You just need a liiiiiittttle somethin' else if you want to prevent COVID.
Raymond Niaura, interim chair of the epidemiology department at New York University, said that gargling wouldn’t hurt if accompanied by vaccination.
“That way, one would be at reduced risk for infection and have good smelling breath,” he wrote in an email.
There you go, Ron Johnson! Vaccine! If you have vaccine and Listerine, you are protected from COVID and your breath doesn't smell like ass!
Unfortunately Ron Johnson does not seem to be a big fan of the vaccines. He likes to spread conspiracy theories and lies about them, though.
And no, to answer the question you are thinking of right now, we do not know if combining vaccine and Listerine with a regimen of the livestock ass cream we mentioned above would also prevent horse hemorrhoids. Perhaps Ron Johnson can tell us next time he emerges from his science lab.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter.
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?