Corrupt horndog John Ensign is quitting on May 3 as Nevada's "other senator," because the Ethics Investigation against him is about to pull out some really slimy dealings. Good-bye, John! You were a terrible senator and you continue to be a terrible man. But why May 3? There's got to be either a financial reason for this, or it's when one of his affair gals is freed up for one of those Sandals all-inclusive island vacations. So much sexytime! Try to stop him now, Harry Reid!

Ensign said in his statement released tonight: "For my family and me, this continued personal cost is simply too great." And by family, he means, "Any broad I feel like banging and then putting her husband on the government payroll to shut him up." Because that's what he did:

Ensign has admitted to having an affair with Cindy Hampton, a campaign aide and the wife of Ensign's former chief of staff, Doug Hampton. Investigators are looking into efforts by Ensign to assist the Hampton family by providing a nearly $100,000 payment to them, arranging lobbying work for Doug Hampton, and possibly meeting with Doug Hampton on a lobbying matter in violation of Senate rules.

Life is good for the rich!

[CNN]