Shocking New Poll Reveals Fox News Viewers Are Brainwashed Imbeciles

State media has its privileges. No one knows that better than Donald Trump, whose presidency thrives thanks to Fox News. The network's viewers are partisan house plants fed a steady diet of right-wing fertilizer. No matter how much treason Trump commits, the Fox News audience remains loyal to him.

The Washington Post cited a study today from the Public Religion Research Institute. It revealed that 55 percent of Republicans whose "news" source is Fox are completely ride or die for Trump. Nothing he can do would cost them their approval. This is a sharp contrast to the 29 percent of non-Fox-viewing Republicans who are willing to hold Trump's hand and drive off the cliff together.

This proves conclusively that every Democratic candidate who attended a Fox town hall was wasting their time. They were better off wagging their tails and begging for Scooby Snacks from the "moderates" who watch "Morning Joe."

According to the PRRI poll, 98 percent of Foxpublicans oppose Trump's impeachment and removal from office. The Post points out that only 90 percent of non-Foxpublicans oppose kicking Trump to the curb. That's as encouraging as learning someone is only 90 percent convinced the real Paul McCartney died in 1966. If anyone still supports Trump now, they're a lost cause. But Democrats want to believe they can change their minds if they grovel a little more and beat up on Hillary Clinton. They'll die in the conservative desert, wandering toward some imagined oasis of sanity.

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The Fox News primetime lineup, a white supremacist sandwich stuffed with moron head cheese, averages 2.6 million viewers. That's the combined population of a few red states but doesn't seem like that big a number. However, 44 percent of Republicans overall are Fox viewers, a number that's consistent with Trump's steady approval rating. Past presidents have enjoyed significantly higher support but it was less intractable. During his first year in office, Barack Obama's approval rating plummeted from a post-racial high of 61 percent to a "shut up, negro" low of 54 percent. Obama lost white voters in droves when he defended his friend Henry Louis Gates Jr. after a cop arrested him outside his own home. Trump has kept his "gentleman's C" rating through Ukraine, the Mueller Report, and concentration camps.

It's helpful to imagine the Trump presidency as that CBS crime drama that you're surprised is still on the air. The ratings aren't spectacular but they're reliable, and old people are fans. After the "Access Hollywood" tape, Republican politicians were quick to abandon what they assumed was a sinking ship, but they had to come crawling back from polls showed that Republicans voters had bought the "locker room talk" BS.

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Republicans also aren't as obsessed with supposed "swing" voter as Democrats. They're more concerned with their base -- the people who actually decide primaries and donate to campaigns. Trump has far more influence over the base than, say, Mitt Romney, who couldn't even convince Republicans to vote for some other asshole in 2016. Democrats are dreaming if they believe Romney is going to lure Senate Republicans onto the impeachment bandwagon.

The PRRI poll showed that 82 percent of white evangelicals want Trump to remain the nominee in 2020. Almost two-thirds of them believe Trump hasn't hurt the dignity of the presidency that Obama offended daily with his blackness. They're a bunch of hypocrites and frauds who don't care what laws Trump breaks as long as he promises to hurt LGBT people and women of all orientations. These numbers are why no one is even trying to primary Trump.

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I'm convinced now that impeachment is the right move, but I'm not so naive (or self-destructive) as to hope it'll end with President Mike Pence. Trump is the know-nothing, bigoted Fox News viewer made president, and he connects with the network's audience so well precisely because he's one of them.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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