Wonkette Nation! We love that you love each other, and that you love us, and that you show us with presents and $$$.
But it is hard to read your witty comments on the news of the day when you all are talking about off-topic stuff, and I don't mean off-topic stuff like "A THING HAPPENED IN THE NEWS THAT WE ALL WILL BE INTERESTED IN," I mean seriously what you are cooking for dinner and your new fucking cat.
Imagine that you were on a different website -- in this case, you were trying to read through the comments on a Dear Prudence piece at Slate, because you wanted to see if everyone else hated the letter writer as much as you did, because everyone who writes to Dear Prudence is ALWAYS THE WORST, but you could not find any comments about the letter writer because they were all just fuckin' HANGING OUT, trying to fuck each other. (Slate commenters do not fuck each other; that is left to the outrageously hook-up-able commenters at Wonkette.) And there were SEVEN THOUSAND OF THEM.
That is what it is like when you clog up our shit. You are world-famous FOR CLEVERNESS! And WIT! But nobody can see those things if you are all making fart noises from your moufs about what the fuck ever. So here is your first overnight thread, in which you can talk about your boyfriend's mom's cabbage soup however much you want. There will be another one tomorrow! You can gaaaaaab away! Because "community" and also it's really goddamn cold outside, so you should not go to there. You should stay in here, where it is safe.
The end.
That's good. I'm glad you have that support, too.
Yah. The one whose mother made sure she was nowhere near the old pervs molestishing hands.