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Shutdown-Averting 'Budget Package' Actually Increases Spending This Year

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Last November, the Teabaggers won the House for the Republicans, which meant government spending and all post-18th century bureaucracy was gone forever, yay. Except, that big budget deal that saved us all from government shutdown? It's going tomake the government spend more money this year than if spending had just been left alone, according to the Congressional Budget Office. But that's because of defense spending, which shouldn't count, as there can never be too much defense spending. Republicans are still on track to erase Washington, D.C. and its suburbs from the map, right?


Brendan Buck, spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), explains on the Speaker's blog "The effect on outlays (based on how quickly the administration spends money) meanwhile is slowed due to increased and accelerated spending for our men and women in uniform. As the CBO puts it, 'part of the reason ...is that some defense funding was shifted from slower-spending to faster-spending activities.'"

See, "our men and women in uniform" needed very, very new weapons, because they have to face off against the world's technological behemoth: individuals who live in caves and holes in the ground in third-world countries. Makes sense. [TPM]

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Barack Obama delivered his first major address of his post-presidency Tuesday at an event in Johannesburg, South Africa, honoring the 100th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's birth. It was -- as you'd expect for the occasion -- appropriately dignified and thoughtful. It was also every bit as inspiring as you might expect from the first black American president speaking in memory of the first black president of a nation that for most of its modern history was synonymous with apartheid. Let's take some time to bask in what an actual world leader sounds like, shall we?

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Guess what Vladimir Putin's getting for Christmas! He's been dropping hints, and you know the Big Orange Baboon can't say no to him for some unknown reason. Gonna be so cute when little Vladdy stumbles down the stairs in his PJs, brushes the sleep from his eyes, and finds MONTENEGRO all wrapped up with a big bow under the Christmas tree. Adorbz!

Oh, but we are to kid! Just a little levity as President Treasonweasel slams a sledgehammer into the international framework that kept us out of another world war for the past 70 years. So why are we suddenly talking about a tinyass country whose chief export appears to be consonants? (Sorry, Montenegro. But your Predsjednik Crne Gore is Milo Đukanović, and your capital city is Cetinje, which is just cheating at Scrabble.)

Well! Donald Trump just got out of a two-hour, closed-door meeting with Vladimir Putin, whose government tried to stage a coup in 2016 to assassinate Đukanović and stop Montenegro's accession to the European Union. Which might not be a coincidence!

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