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The Gun Is Good


Nevada Assemblywoman, congressional candidate, and all around gunstrumpet Michele Fiore has been thinking long and hard about what freedom means, and what freedom means to her is apparently the inalienable right to get yourself blown away by cops if you actually follow her completely sane advice about what you ought to do if a law enforcement officer draws a gun on you: You just go right ahead and take a bead on them, as it is your God-given right to self-defense yourself! Not that we're constitutional scholars or sovereign citizen legal experts or anything, but this sounds inadvisable to us, possibly because we aren't professional gun-humping morons.

In an interview with Las Vegas teevee station KLAS, Fiore explained to host Steve Sebelius that the 2014 Bundy Ranch StandoffPalooza proved to her that the Bureau of Land Management has "turned into a bureaucrat agency of terrorism. They terrorize Americans."

Sebelius countered that there's no First or Second-Amendment right to "point a weapon at a duly authorized law enforcement officer who is just out there doing his job," at which point Fiore interrupted him to set him straight on the facts as she sees them (i.e. through a lens that says gun fanatics love me and will vote for me):

I would never, ever point my firearm at anyone, including an officer of the law. Unless they pointed their firearm at me. Now, once you point your firearm at me, I’m sorry, then it becomes self-defense. So whether you’re a stranger, a bad guy, or an officer, and you point your gun at me and you’re gonna shoot me and I have to decide whether it’s my life or your life, I choose my life.

We realize the video cuts off right as she's saying "I choose my life," so we checked the full video to see if there was a follow-up question in which she offered some thoughts that didn't sound like a recipe for getting yourself killed by a police officer. Nope. Sebelius's next question was about Fiore's (considerable) tax troubles. Way to follow up there, local reporter!

Now, strangely, earlier this year when she was negotiating an end to the Malheur Wildlife Refuge standoff, Fiore did not encourage the last four holdouts to point their guns at the Feds, who had them outnumbered and in their sights. She talked them down and got them to surrender, instead of indulging their fantasies of martyrdom. Had Fiore encouraged them to do exactly what she's advocating here, there'd have been a body count. Then again, that was in a real life or death situation, not in the much more comfortable and vote-getting fantasy world of the wingnut gun-humper, who has an absolute right to stand for Liberty, even if some jackbooted federal thugs need to die.

Honestly, no one should be too surprised that Fiore would return, in campaign season, to her gun-oil-lubricated dreams of Armed Patriots standing up to the evil Feds; she said as much back in 2014 during the first Bundy shitshow, when she approvingly explained the militia jackholes who'd flocked to the Bundy ranch were the finest available examples of Armed Resistance to an Out Of Control Federal Government. At the time, she explained it was perfectly appropriate, telling MSNBC's Chris Hayes that the federal government shouldn't "come here with guns and expect the American people not to fire back." Funny how she's a lot more willing to talk about shooting back at law enforcement when it's a purely hypothetical proposition.

Or, hell, maybe she's actually a deep-cover false-flag federal agent provocateur who's encouraging militia morons to draw their guns on police, so they'll be wiped out before they can effectively mount an armed resistance to Obama's coming declaration of martial law? Maybe we'll call Alex Jones and suggest that.

Nah. She's just a fucking idiot who knows she can say any goddamn thing favoring guns and the rubes will vote for her.

[Think Progress / KLAS-TV]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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