Somebody Replaced Matt Drudge's Heartworm Medication With Speed

As of a few minutes ago, this was the front page of the Drudge Report:

Dear God.

Is "Rabid, mouthbreathing closet queen say what?" one of the science-approved stages of grief? Because he sure seems to be in it.

For the record, the links he provides go to:

  • A totally legit thing from Alex Jones's InfoWars that says Hillary's campaign chair John Podesta eats blood and cum for dinner.
  • A Julian Assange circle jerk posted in Russian state media about how (BREAKING NEWS!) the Saudis spend their moneys in some interesting places, some of them very unsavory! No shit, bro?
  • A thing that says there's a heightened terror threat level the day before the election. These things tend to happen around election days, and the 4th of July, and lots of other days.
  • A bullshit right-wing read on the monthly jobs report. The actual jobs report, as reported by those vegan hippie gaywads at Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal, is that unemployment is down to 4.9% and the US and A added 161,000 new jobs in October.

Just before we screengrabbed it, there was also a loud headline about Hillary being the Antichrist, which linked to a story in The Guardian about all those Clinton-hating FBI agents going rogue. Ho-hum.

We don't know what's provoking Matt Drudge's mental breakdown -- maybe internal polling is showing the race hasn't tightened as much as the current public polls are showing!

Nevertheless, thoughts 'n' prayers or whatever.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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