Sorry About Your Breakfast, It's Time For The Josh Duggar Update
Josh Duggar is on his way out of jail, where he'll be free to see his wife and children after being arrested last week for child porn. That's right, the firstborn of the Duggar clan was granted bail, as a judge has decided it's fine for him to be around his own children, but not anybody else's children. (As if familial ties ever stopped him before.) But don't worry, his wife is required to be with him at all times when he's with the children. So that's "comforting."
He has to wear an ankle monitor, and will be "confined to the home of family friends who have agreed to be his custodian during his release," per the AP. He's also not allowed to be anywhere near the internet, for obvious reasons, and he can't ask his babysitters for their internet passwords. And it's literally on the list that he's not allowed to watch porn, in case he was wondering.
"I have full confidence in the United States Marshal Service to find you if you decide not to comply with these conditions of release, so don't make me regret this decision," [Magistrate Judge Christy] Comstock said after a four-hour hearing conducted over Zoom.
For more on the hearing, and more details of what exactly the feds have found on Duggar, we go to noted journalism outfit Entertainment Weekly. It's really, really gross. Homeland Security Investigations Special Agent Gerald Faulkner testified that a file on Duggar's computer at his used car dealership "depicted child sex abuse involving children ranging from 18 months to 12 years of age." Yes, that said 18 months. Faulkner told the court it was "in the top five of the worst of the worst that I've ever had to examine." In all there were more than 200 images.
And then there's this detail:
According to Faulkner, when homeland security officials raided Duggar's car dealership and asked to speak with him, without informing him they were investigating child pornography, Duggar "spontaneously" responded, "What is this about? Has someone been downloading child pornography?"
What a very normal response to the feds! WHAT'S THIS ABOUT, SOME KINDA KIDDIE PORN?
Faulkner alleged that when Duggar was asked point blank about seeing or having child sex abuse material in his possession, he said, "I'd rather not answer that question."
Because this is all so very on-brand for conservative evangelical Christian subculture, Duggar reportedly had one of those internet nanny softwares on his computer, a Christian one called "Covenant Eyes," which was supposed to shame him out of looking at porns, because it would send his wife, Anna, a message if he looked at any porns. Y'all know about how we've been hearing of Josh's so-called "porn addiction" ever since 2015 when the scandal about him molesting his sisters was revealed.
It's such an evangelical thing. "Porn addiction." As Wonkette presciently wrote at the time, about Josh's "porn addiction":
It's ALWAYS the porn, at least when you're a repressed fundamentalist shitbag from a repressed fundamentalist shitbag home. Weird how "porn addiction" doesn't really seem to exist for normal people with a healthy appreciation for sex. Was he watching grown-ups? JUST ASKING.
Asked and answered!
In that blog post, Wonkette also said, "Divorce him, Anna Duggar. There's still hope for your family. Just saying." Oh well, Wonkette's sage advice not taken!
Anyway, somehow Josh got around the filter to look at kiddie porn, reportedly because he was using some kind of Linux partition that wouldn't sext his wife when he looked at kiddie porn on that side of the computer.
So that's your Josh Duggar kiddie porn update. Feel free to resume eating breakfast whenever your body says it's willing to accept food again.
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