Sounds Like Piers Morgan And Donald Trump Had A Fun Playdate!

Christ he looks like shit.

Piers Morgan had a fun interview with Donald Trump, y'all.

Here's a little montage of Trump whining and calling Morgan "very dishonest" and stomping away and crying out that Morgan is not his real dad and Trump doesn't have to do what he says.



Oh, the drama! We bet Trump was so mad he couldn't even finish the Wordle later that night.

(We have been trying to imagine Trump successfully completing the Wordle ever since we learned VP Kamala Harris is obsessed with it. Imagining him trying to use "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV" as his starting word and knocking his Diet Coke off the table because he doesn't understand why he can't. Typing "pussy" on every line. But anyway, we digress.)


The New York Post has all the background funnies on Trump's terrible interview with the very mean and dishonest Piers Morgan. Reportedly it all went bad when Morgan suggested Trump didn't even secretly win the election he lost.

The 45th president became increasingly frustrated with Morgan’s questions, at one point calling him a “fool,” according to clips of the sit down.

“I think I’m a very honest man … much more honest than you, actually,” Trump said at one point.

“Really?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah,” Trump responded.

Elsewhere, Morgan told Trump the 2020 vote “was a free and fair election. You lost.”

“Only a fool would think that,” Trump shot back.

“You think I’m a fool?” Morgan retorted.

“I do now, yeah,” Trump responded.

Oh man, sounds like somebody needed a nap or a fresh pair of Depends or something.

“With respect, you haven’t produced the hard evidence,” Morgan said of Trump’s claims as the former president attempted to interject.

“I don’t think you’re real,” the former president said to Morgan, later turning to the production crew and calling his interviewer “very dishonest.”

"I DON'T THINK YOU'RE REAL," the former president said to Morgan, and nobody loved the former president enough to cart him off to a residential dementia care facility and throw away the key.

Describing the experience in a Thursday column for The Post, Morgan revealed he also told the former president that he blamed Trump’s refusal to admit defeat for the deadly Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol riot.

“Then you’re a fool! And you haven’t studied,” Trump responded, according to Morgan.

Oh God, there's a column full of background. Lucky us.

Therein, Morgan explains that eight minutes before his Mar-a-Lago interview with Trump was set to start, one of his producers said "Piers, we have a problem," and explained that somebody had given Trump a print-out of mean quotes Morgan had said about Trump over the past couple years. The baby was mad.

“Is he going to cancel the interview?” I asked, trying not to panic.

”I don’t know,” came the reply. “But he is VERY upset.”

”See if I can go and talk to him about it,” I suggested.

Twenty minutes later, I was sitting in Trump’s office.

Normally, he’d greet me with a cheery smile and the words, “How’s my champ?,” because I was his first “Celebrity Apprentice” on the series that made him a TV superstar.

But this time, there were no such welcoming niceties.

He was staring at me across his desk with undisguised fury, clutching the document titled “Piers Morgan Comments About President Trump.”

Oh my God.

This feels like a good time to remind everyone that both Trump and Piers Morgan are unmitigated garbage and we hope they both lose any fight they're ever in, including with each other.

”What the f–k IS this?” he snarled.

Then he began slowly reading out some of the quotes.

“Trump’s a supreme narcissist …”

Pause.

“His pathetic antics in the past few weeks since losing the election in November have been utterly contemptible.”

Pause.

”Trump’s now too dangerous, he’s morphed into a monster that I no longer recognize as someone I considered to be a friend and thought I knew.”

Pause.

We're just impressed Trump was sounding out all those words.

Piers suggests he was confronting a Trump he had never seen before. (There's a lot of backstory about their history, how he had once considered Trump a friend, blah blah blah, you don't care.) He writes that Trump "was almost foaming at the mouth and kept shaking his head slowly and menacingly at me, like Don Corleone when he felt he’d been disrespected." He says Trump really lost it when he read a Morgan quote from January 7, 2021, the day after the terrorist attack Trump ordered against America, when Morgan said he should be removed from office and barred from ever running again.

But he says suddenly he was able to distract the baby when he suggested they talk about his recent (alleged) hole-in-one, and told Trump that Ernie Els was "raving about it." Trump claimed he had made seven hole-in-ones in his life. Morgan quietly thought that was bullshit. But it worked.

Suddenly, Trump clapped his hands.

“OK, I guess I’ll still do the interview. I don’t know why, honestly, but I’ll see you down there.”

They were supposed to talk for 20 minutes. Trump ended up babbling for 75 minutes. Morgan says it only went bad when he started bringing up how Trump is an election loser who incited the January 6 attack.

Incensed Trump tried to end things by declaring, “That’s it!” before I reminded him that we hadn’t discussed his hole-in-one, which he then sat down again and did — briefly — before abruptly jumping to his feet, looking hateful, and barking at the shocked crew: “TURN THE CAMERAS OFF!”

Morgan says he's pretty sure the person who gave Trump the list of mean Piers Morgan quotes was none other than British idiot Nigel Farage, who just happened to be slithering around the place in the days just preceding the interview. He says he hopes this doesn't mean his friendship with Trump is over forever.

If you read the end of the original New York Post article you can see that Trump is now releasing angry statements saying he DID NOT EITHER storm out of the interview, along with what he says is audio of the last seven minutes, where they were being very nice to each other. Trump is now protesting that Morgan "attempted to unlawfully and deceptively edit his long and tedious interview with me.”

And you know what? We don't care. Trump is a pathological liar and one of the biggest lumps of shit on planet Earth. Piers Morgan is an asshole, and we doubt he's above exaggerating all this to goose his ratings.

It's also possible Trump has no recollection of what really happened, because, you know, his brain.

In summary and in conclusion, Piers Morgan and Donald Trump did an interview, and now you don't have to watch it because you know all the interesting parts.

The end.

[New York Post / also too]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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