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Poor little bastard


Looks like party funtimes are over for Ethan Couch, the Texas teen who oopsidentally drunk-killed four people and injured nine others with his daddy's car because his terrible suck-knob parents gave him all the MTV video games and iToys and never taught him that killing people is wrong, even if you are rich. (Which, turns out, isn't really the case, who knew?)

Mexican authorities have detained so-called "affluenza" teen Ethan Couch and his mother near the popular Mexican Pacific beach resort town of Puerto Vallarta, officials briefed on the matter told CNN. [...]

He is wanted by authorities in Tarrant County, Texas, for allegedly violating probation. His mother was listed by Texas authorities as a missing person after her son's disappearance, and the authorities said they believed she was assisting her son.

It seems that kickin' it in Texas and getting the recommended year or two of therapy, to help him work through his spoiled rich kid issues, while not rotting in prison, was just too much for poor long-suffering Ethan. So he and his mom -- you know, the terrible one who turned him into a killer -- had to gather up all their fancy 'spensive stuff and jet on down to a beach resort south of the border. You know how tough not going to prison for killing people can be, right?

Now Ethan, whose therapy apparently didn't take, will maybe have to go to the pokey after all, for violating the no big winky-wink-wink terms of his probation. His mother, who might be looking at some charges of her own for aiding and abetting a criminal, will probably not get to share his jail cell with him, awww sad.

CNN reminds us that at the time of Ethan's brutal wrist-slapping, for killing some people, prosecutors warned he could end up in prison for a decade if he were to, oh, say, flee the country during his probation. But maybe -- and we're just spitballing here -- he'll be lucky enough to find a sympathetic judge (again!) who nods along with the not-actually-a-real-thing diagnosis of "too fucking rich and spoiled to know killing people is wrong." And then Ethan Couch can have his other wrist slapped -- that's enough criming, young man! -- and perhaps even sent to the corner, with NO DESSERT, to think about what he's done wrong this time.

[CNN]

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