Rep. Steve King Will Stop Lady-Hating Racists From Putting Harriet Tubman On $20
Iowa Republican Congressman Steve King has a new mission in life. Well, a mission other than making Donald Trump President of the US of A so he'll ban all the immigrants and Steve King will never again have to stay up at night worrying that the scary cantaloupe-legged monsters will come and eat him or whatever. That mission is to make sure Andrew Jackson stays on the $20 bill WHERE HE BELONGS, and is not replaced by Harriet Tubman.
He hopes to attach an amendment to a bill meant to fund the U.S. Treasury, forcing them to choose between being funded and ruining all of Steve King's fond memories of looking at a $20 bill with Andrew Jackson's face on it. The bill would prevent the U.S. Treasury from making any changes to money, ever, including implementing newer security features to make counterfeiting more difficult.
Rep. King explains that his reasoning for opposing this is that he is ascared of change. You change the $20 bill and then it's just OK to change everything, and all the things will keep changing and Steve King doesn't want a new Mommy!
"It's not about Harriet Tubman, it's about keeping the picture on the $20," King said Tuesday evening, pulling a $20 bill from his pocket and pointing at President Andrew Jackson. "Y'know? Why would you want to change that? I am a conservative, I like to keep what we have."
The conservative gadfly said it is "racist" and "sexist" to say a woman or person of color should be added to currency. "Here's what's really happening: This is liberal activism on the part of the president that's trying to identify people by categories, and he's divided us on the lines of groups. ... This is a divisive proposal on the part of the president, and mine's unifying. It says just don't change anything."
Who here has a feeling that someone never got over the first Darren on "Bewitched"?
If you ask me, this fear of even very minor change is something he really needs to work out in therapy rather than in Congress. Because, honestly, it's a little weird. Actually it's very, very weird. This isn't even a big change. Perhaps if Steve King could see that the world will not fall apart following a small change like this, he could begin to develop the inner strength and resiliency to deal with other changes that are bound to happen in a 67-year-old boy's life. It could be really good for him, from an emotional development standpoint.
It could even perhaps help him develop the emotional maturity necessary to stop seeing things he wants as "unifying" and things other people want as "divisive," which is an extremely irrational perspective. While King can see that if he doesn't get his way, he will feel left out and unimportant, he can't see that perhaps other people have felt left out and unimportant for long enough, and that now it is their turn to feel included. He could even also consider that he is actually very lucky, in the grand scheme of things, to have this as a problem. Because when you think of all the other people out there who really have it bad, people dying of terrible diseases, people starving to death, having to deal with the picture on your money changing doesn't really seem like a thing worth being so deeply traumatized over.
Knowing that Rep. King is a deeply religious man, perhaps he might find comfort in that AA prayer about accepting the things one cannot change? Or perhaps this song, which I happen to know is made up of Bible quotes?
Unless he thinks that the money-changers Jesus was mad at in the Bible were people who wanted to change the appearance of money? If so, someone should take him aside and explain some stuff to him. Not even just about that, but about things in general. Teach him that not all change is bad. For instance, he should probably change his underwear every once in a while as well.
Because the thing is, word on the street is that Steve King is not going to get his way on this one. Because, frankly, it's stupid and kind of the least of anyone's problems. So he's going to have to adjust to a Brave New World in which the picture on the money changes -- and this will be hard for him, but we are confident that he will be able to manage.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse