Stormy Daniels Denies Denying Denial Of ... Oh Screw It, Just Read This
Oh, she's a cagey one!
Stormy Daniels, the pornographic entertainment star who may or may not have gotten a great big pile of hush money after a 2006 affair with Donald Trump, appeared on the Jimmy Kimmel television program Tuesday night to dodge questions about the state of her union with Trump ("unremarkable"). Daniels appeared on the program shortly after her publicist released a statement re-denying that she'd ever had any relationship with Trump. That statement, attributed to Daniels, had her saying,
I am not denying this affair because I was paid 'hush money' as has been reported in overseas owned tabloids. I am denying this affair because it never happened.
While Daniels coyly avoided nearly every question about Trump, she was quite happy to indulge Kimmel's little game of CSI: Late Nite Host, where he pointed out that the signature on yesterday's statement didn't look at all like the signature on an earlier statement from her, or like her autograph on several photos. Kimmel pressed her on whether she'd signed the statement, but she equivocated: "I don't know, did I? That doesn’t look like my signature, does it?" She wouldn't quite commit to an answer when Kimmel asked if the statement was released without her approval (unless "Hmm" is an answer), but when Kimmel asked if she knew where the statement came from, she did say "I do not know where it came from."
Daniels also wouldn't directly comment on whether she'd signed any nondisclosure agreement in exchange for her silence just before the 2016 election, but she sure approved of Kimmel's logic game:
Kimmel: You can't say whether you have a nondisclosure agreement. But if you didn't have a nondisclosure agreement, you most certainly could say "I don't have a nondisclosure agreement." Yes?
Daniels: "You're so smart, Jimmy."
Following the interview, an attorney for Daniels, Keith Davidson, insisted in an email to the Guardian that Daniels hadn't cast doubt on the denial, no way:
She was having fun on Kimmel and being her normal playful self [...]
The signature is indeed hers as she signed the statement today in the presence of me and her manager, Gina Rodriguez.
Grossed out by the very idea? We'll soon get those images out of your head!
Did Donald Trump actually say, while watching "Shark Week" in a hotel room, that he was terrified of sharks and hoped they'd all die? "Everybody loves Shark Week!" OK, fine, but that would be a weird thing for them to have made up. Is Donald Trump obsessed with and super scared of sharks? "Aren’t we all?" Very cagey. If Donald Trump didn't have a pathological hatred of the CIA (second only to his hatred of sharks), Stormy Daniels would make a good spy. She revealed no details about the presidential peen, thank Crom.
After Kimmel summarized most of the affair as described by the In Touch interview, the only detail Daniels commented on was Trump's supposedly asking her to autograph one of her DVDs: "I guess he does have good taste then." When Kimmel asked her if anything in the interview was true, she replied, "define 'true.'"
In a well-appointed house in Chappaqau, New York, a familiar male voice whistled and said, "Man, she's good!" After which another familiar voice, a woman's this time, said, "Shut up, Bill." In the distance, a dog barked.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.