Franklin County Sheriff's Office

Stormy Daniels, the adult film performer who received big bucks from Donald Trump as hush money for the affair the White House insists the two never had, was arrested at a strip club in Columbus, Ohio, last night for allegedly touching patrons. As you'd expect in a perfectly functional first-world country with a healthy respect for the rule of law, her performance happened to be attended by at least three undercover detectives. This should in no way remind anyone of the way political enemies of Vladimir Putin are conveniently convicted on trumped-up charges, because come on, this is America, what are you, a paranoid Alex Jones kook? Besides, all the charges were dropped today, so there's nothing to see here, move along to your next crazy fake news story, like claiming Donald Trump, the best president ever, is an incompetent asshole.

Daniels and two other performers at the "Sirens Adult Entertainment Club" were nabbed last night for allegedly violating an Ohio law called the "Community Defense Act," which "prohibits anyone who isn't a family member to touch a nude or semi-nude dancer" (sounds like a loophole that some sleazy nightclub manager in a Carl Hiaasen novel would try to exploit). Shall we find the most prurient description of the police reports from local teevee?

During her performance, officers in the club said they witnessed Daniels using her bare breasts to smack patrons. The officers also said they observed Daniels fondling the breasts of female patrons.

The report says when the officers approached the stage, Daniels held the face of the female officer between her breasts. It also says she did the same to a male officer. The report says Daniels fondled the buttocks and breasts of another officer. At that point, court documents say a fourth officer exited the club to request assistance to make an arrest.

Haha, we are kidding about the prurience of local TV -- CNN's summary is almost the same. And you can bet that somewhere on the internet, Erick Erickson just started a column about the sort of person Democrats consider a hero. And wishing it had been a goat instead of a human lady.

An early press release from the Columbus Police tried to convince people that this was SRS BNS and a step to keep the public safe from human traffickers:

Or perhaps just dangerous illegal stripping stuff.

Daniels's attorney, Michael Avenatti, tweetered that he smelled a big political rat:

But today, apparently after Avenatti smacked them in the face with some Ohio statutes, the prosecutors moved to drop the charges after looking at the actual text of the law, which applies to persons who "regularly [appear] nude or semi-nude on the premises of a sexually oriented business." As a guest performer, Daniels was not a regular, so they decided the charges don't apply. The judge signed off on the dismissal of charges, and Daniels can now presumably be refunded her bond.

So hey, no harm, no foul, and since the two other women presumably still face charges in this important crackdown on titty bars, it would be silly to ascribe any deeper motive to Daniels's arrest, now wouldn't it?

At least until Michael Avenatti is picked up for double parking with malice aforethought.

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[CNN / WBNS-TV / Chicago Tribune]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Can we just say that when Fox idiot Maria Bartiromo sounds like the sane person in a situation, that is a worrisome situation? That is what happened when Donald Trump -- who's just had a fantastic Infrastructure Week, assuming it is Infrastructure Week, and we always do -- sat down for what was supposed to be an easy breezy "You're the best!"/"No YOU are, Mister President!" interview with his beloved Fox pals.

Instead Maria Bartiromo had to ask the question on everybody's mind, which is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD, or, more clearly, is there a reason you have spent this entire week of your presidency picking a fight with a dead guy, who somehow seems to be winning that fight, because you are literally so stupid and incompetent you LOSE FIGHTS TO DEAD GUYS?

She said it nicer than that, though.

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Last fall, after Wisconsin voters rejected Gov. Scott Walker's reelection bid and chose Democrat Tony Evers instead, Republicans in the state legislature got very busy doing anything they could to limit the power of the incoming governor and the new Democratic attorney general, Josh Kaul. Hey, voters may have chosen Evers, but that didn't mean Rs had to let Democrats actually govern, now did it? As Republican state House Speaker Robin Vos rather notoriously said at the time, the lege had to act because "We are going to have a very liberal governor who is going to enact policies that are in direct contrast to what many of us believe in." So in a two day "extraordinary session," the Republicans shifted power from the executive branch and gave those powers to the legislature, which conveniently remained in Republican control thanks to gerrymandering. Scott Walker signed the bills and then began his career as an idiot on Twitter.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin judge found the entire lame duck session violated the state constitution, and invalidated the laws it passed. Dane County Circuit Judge Richard Niess said in his decision the Wisconsin constitution is quite specific about when the legislature can meet, and nope, the "extraordinary session" didn't meet the constitutional requirements, so sorry guys, you didn't follow the rules and your laws ARE MOOT.

The Associated Press lawsplains the constitutional neener-neener:

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