Stormy Daniels, Woody Harrelson's Dad, And JFK's MURDERRRR Walk Into A Blog Post
Over the weekend, Stormy Daniels's lawyer,Michael Ave-HOTTIE, tweeted out a picture of Daniels sitting with famed sketch artist Lois Gibson.
The Two Best Times Stormy Daniels's Lawyer Was SO FUCKIN' HOT The Past 24 Hours, Because We Only Saw Him On TV Twice
Miiiiichael Avenattttttttttttttttti. It's pronounced like Jooooordan Catalaaaaaaaaaaano.
Avenatti is trying to get his client Daniels released from her non-disclosure agreement with either President Trump (who never signed it) or Michael Cohen (who may not have standing for shit, we don't know, we are not Five Dollar Feminist). Avenatti has -- just yesterday, on a SUNDAY -- filed a new motion seeking a jury trial (instead of arbitration) and expedited discovery on Donald Trump, who is, unaccountably, the president of the United States of America, and his bad lawyer, Michael Cohen, who is bad at law. Avenatti is asking to depose both of them and get limited production of documents.
Presumably you already knew all that. But DID YOU KNOW that Lois Gibson, the police sketch artist, once proved with her sketch witchery that Woody Harrelson's father, Charles Harrelson, who died in prison after executing a federal judge for the mob, was one of the "Three Tramps" in Dallas when John F. Kennedy was murdered? Because SHE TOTALLY DID, and I am CONVINCED FOREVER.
You did not even know that, did you? But I did, because I learned it on the Internet when I was teaching a political science class at UC Irvine about Conspiracies. I also taught a "Political Scandals" class that used as class texts Kitty Kelly's The Family, about the Bushes -- which follows the money back FOUR GENERATIONS and IS AMAZING -- and "read Talking Points Memo every day before class and see what Duke Cunningham was doing in his hot tub today." Unfortunately, my students could not understand why "fire all the US Attorneys who refuse to gin up cases against Democrats who didn't do anything wrong" was bad, let alone why "break into your opponent's campaign headquarters and steal their strat" was the biggest deal ever. Oh, do both of those stories sound a little familiar right now? Well I have no idea why, that is very weird.
We will now end this post with a picture of Michael Avenatti, as is our custom.
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Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.