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Maybe Donald Trump only respects fellow bridge & tunnel jackasses with dead wild animal pelts on their heads.


Several weeks ago, Donald Trump had a Twitter Tantrum, accusing our most recent good, intelligent president, Barack Obama, of putting "wire tapps" in all the microwaves, vibrators and telephones at Trump Tower. He did this because, well, first of all, he's real fuckin' stupid, and second of all, Trump is a totally easy mark for conspiracy theories, so when he saw discredited Fox News idiot Judge Andrew Napolitano say Obama put the "wire tapps" inside his fanny, he immediately reached up his butt with his non-Twitter hand in a desperate need to GET. THEM. OUT. (Allegedly.)

When Napolitano said, with literally no evidence, that Obama had secretly gone to the British intelligence agency GHCQ, to get the "wire tapps" illegally, Trump believed that, too, because he is a moron. (Fun fact: before it was sputtering out of Napolitano's face hole, it was a featured claim on Russian state-owned TV network RT! Because of course it was!) That bullshit claim started a bit of an international incident, when White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, for no reason except President Pussgrab Is Always Right, publicly accused the British spy agency of colluding with Obama to steal Donald Trump's secrets.

In response, Fox News was like "OH SHIT, we're just supposed to be like an entertaining racist cartoon for people who eat at Cracker Barrel a lot and think monster truck rallies are probably just like Broadway, we should not actually be RUNNING FOREIGN POLICY," so they pulled Napolitano off the air for a minute, to let things cool down.

But he's baaaaaaack! And he's saying more bullshit on Fox about how it's DEFINITELY TRUE according to his "sources" that Obama put fancy British spy "wire tapps" in Donald Trump's bottom! And you know Trump will see it on TV, because watching TV is literally all Trump does, since taking intelligence briefings is way above his pay grade.

Media Matters with the video: