Stupid Racist Trump Wannabes Making Their Own Gloriously Stupid And Racist Campaign Ads
Not very realistic -- no ISIS infiltrator with them?
One of the great joys of campaign season is that magic moment when the really stupid campaign ads start dropping. And here's a real beauty, a veritable Plan Nine From Outer Space of political ads: It's got bad acting and writing, ideas borrowed from real professionals, and pretensions of being a political scare ad, with no scares at all. It only lacks cardboard headstones and Tor Johnson. The ad is for Mike Pape, one of four Republicans running for Kentucky’s first Congressional District; the incumbent, Republican Ed Whitfield, is retiring after 21 years in the House. No, we'd barely heard of him either. Pape has a sort of insider's advantage, maybe, since he's served as Whitfield's district director since Whitfield began his mediocre congressional career. Former state agriculture commissioner James Comer has a big fundraising lead over the other candidates, but this slick bit of cinema stupitité just might be the thing to give Pape the edge.
The scene: a chain-link fence on the border, helpfully labeled "U.S. BORDER: DO NOT CROSS." Out of the inky darkness comes a trio of illegal immigrants who have the most realistic conversation ever about their nefarious plans for
rape and murder political activity.
Thank Crom the ad has subtitles for the actors, who speak English all the way through, and whose accents aren't quite up to the Speedy Gonzales School Of Messican Stereotypes. And such thrilling dialogue!
Thug 1: Once through, we’ll stop Donald Trump!
Thug 2: Si! And Ted Cruz, too!
Thug 3: And Señor Mike Pape!
For a team of illegal alien invaders bent on political mayhem, all wearing shirts saying, respectively, STOP TRUMP, STOP TED CRUZ, and STOP PAPE, the first two seem astonishingly ignorant of this Señor Mike Pape fellow. How did Thug 3 even get on the team? Thug 3 has to explain that Mike Pape is the conservative running for Congress who will help Trump build the wall, and will also help Cruz kill Obamacare, because these dumb illegals don't seem to know America won't have both as president. Or maybe Mike Pape is hedging his bets, just possibly.
ThinkProgress calls the ad "disturbing," but that appears to be more of a political than an aesthetic judgment; we think it's gloriously terrible, and that everyone involved in its production deserves a contract making ads for furniture stores or accident injury lawyers. ThinkProgress did at least find an actual Mike Pape quote, which suggests he knows how to feed the wingnut audience:
We’re living in tough times… So, we must be tough. We also must be smart and principled… But we all understand that a brighter future with greater opportunities can’t happen if we are not safe. When ISIS can walk right across our southern border, do you think we’re safe?
[wonkbar]a href="http://wonkette.com/559834/wingnut-blogs-pretty-sure-they-found-an-isis-infiltrator-at-houston-deli"[/wonkbar]Yes, and after they walk right across our border, they're invading our delicatessens.
We award this two Demon Sheep (out of a possible four). Great set decoration, perfect costuming, true-to-life dialogue, brilliant use of subtitles to remind us these guys are foreigns. Needs an ISIS infiltrator, more outrageous accents, and some boobs. You can't go wrong with boobs.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.