Stupidest Man On Internet Applies His Forensic Skillz To Boston Bombing
Jim Hoft, the stupidest man on the internet, is definitely sinking to the occasion! Yesterday, weoffered him a nice bag of dicks to eat for claiming that Esquire columnist Charlie Pierce had "blamed" supporters of Patriots' Day for the blasts (Pierce said nothing of the sort). Today, Hoft wants you to see some shocking "Photos of [the] SAUDI NATIONAL" who is a "Person of Interest" in the bombing. Hoft links to what he says is the "Facebook page of the Saudi national guarded by federal agents at a Boston hospital." God knows he's got reliable sources: He says the guy's name was "released" by "Townhall and Free Republic," although of course the Freeper page is actually just a link to the Townhall article... which doesn't actually include the guy's name (We'll assume it's been scrubbed? Google cache didn't appear to have an older version). Based on that ironclad proof, we now know everything we need to know: America is being overrun by Saudi terrists!!!!!!!
Hoft's post also links to a Fox Nation article which names the guy, and copypastes this paragraph:
The source confirmed to FoxNews.com that the person of interest is Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi, a 20-year-old Saudi. His Facebook page identifies him as a current or former student at the New England School of English. He is believed to have entered the country on a student visa.
Hoft conveniently leaves out the VERY NEXT SENTENCE of that article:
The source stressed that Alharbi is a person of interest, not a suspect, and said he suffered serious injuries in the explosion.
America, meet your new Richard Jewell.
So now that we've established that Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi is a SAUDI NATIONAL who is being "guarded by federal agents," let's see how scary this guy is! Hoft includes some terrifying photos from the kid's Facebook page. Here we see a very threatening brown person jumping up in the air (like 9/11!) in front of the castle at Disney World (no doubt during a recon mission!):
Our favorite Hoft CSI analysis is his caption for this photo. You might think you see two guys goofing in front of a cutout of some superhero dude:
Here's what Jim Hoft sees: "Here is Abdulrahman with a metal pipe." You know what ELSE can be made with a metal pipe????
Yr Wonkette would like to point out, however, that Hoft has missed the most outrageous proof of Alharbi's sinister motives: The most recent post on the Facebook page is a link to a TED Talk by comedian Maz Jobrani, a known member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour and a frequent panelist on "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me." Why is Hoft ignoring this conclusive evidence of the NPR-Muslin Terror connection?
In the sane world, the Washington Post reports:
U.S. law enforcement officials said Tuesday that a Saudi national injured in the Boston Marathon bombing is regarded as a witness, not a suspect.
So yeah, the fix is in. There's a photo of a brown man holding a pipe and we don't need to know more than that why do you hate America Washington Post huh why???????????
In other Stupidest Man on the Internet news, Jim Hoft also proclaims that the Boston attack cements Obama's place in history as the "Worst. President. Ever" and a "Complete Failure." This is an important announcement, and stands in contrast to Hoft's declarations of the final, absolute evidence of Obama's utter failure on March 31, March 28, March 8, January 4, and... well, you get the idea.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.