Stupidest Man On Internet: Obama Made Hawaii Judge Kill The Muslim Ban. Impeach?
Jim Hoft is ON THE CASE!
You may have been under the impression that federal judges base their opinions on their best possible understanding of the law and of the particulars of the case, but Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft happens to know that when it comes to yesterday's decision to place a temporary restraining order on Donald Trump's Muslim Ban 2.0, the fix was in, and the Deep State done it! (Hoft just learned the term "Deep State" from others on the Wingnuttosphere, but wants to use it as much as possible to prove he knows stuff.) In an impressive display of dots-connecting, Hoft lays out his case with typically Hoftian logic:
It all fits together! Barack Obama came to Hawaii, trying to avoid publicity, on Monday and Tuesday, then a federal judge who Obama appointed ruled against the latest version of Trump's Muslim ban on Wednesday! Any evidence Obama dropped in on Judge Watson? Pfft. They were on the same island, what more proof do you need?
The loons at Alex Jones's InfoWars are on it, too, noting Reddit users checking Google Earth noticed that Obama's route to dinner could have taken him "within 5 minutes of the judge’s house at one point on the drive over." That there is some impressive Internet Detective Work! Says Paul Joseph Watson (no relation) on InfoWars,
Given that Obama appointed the judge, graduated in the same year as him and visited Honolulu and was within minutes of the judge less than 48 hours before Judge Watson made a major ruling that blocked Trump’s travel ban, it doesn’t take a wild-eyed conspiracy theorist to insinuate that the two could have met.
True. But being a wild-eyed conspiracy theorist sure helps. Crom knows if we were trying to influence a judge, we'd be too careful to use a telephone. Instead, we'd fly in with our family and a retinue of Secret Service agents. Hey, for that matter, when Supreme Court decisions went his way, Obama was often in the very same city as the Supreme Court, too! OVERTURN EVERYTHING!
Hoft also finds the quickness with which Watson produced his opinion very, very suspect. Since Hoft regularly updates his posts without any indication that he's changed anything, here's another screenshot:
Actually, no. Judge Watson didn't release his decision within two hours of the case "being filed." It was filed on March 9, and Watson heard the case Wednesday, and delivered his decision a couple hours later. Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but we don't think it's UNPOSSIBLE that a 43-page document could be prepared in two hours, especially since, we'd assume (and we bet some of the smart legal cookies in our comments can clear this up) some of the boilerplate parts of the decision, like the case history, could be written up in advance. Judge Watson didn't encounter this case for the very first time Wednesday afternoon; he had to read Hawaii's filing against the executive order a week ago, when he granted and scheduled the hearing. Also, this wasn't a decision on the case's merits, but on whether to grant a temporary restraining order.
Just give it up, dude.
Still, we suppose we should thank the Stupidest Man on the Internet for at least giving us the chance to learn a little about how much of a federal legal decision gets written immediately after a hearing. Is two hours a ridiculously short time for a decision to be released? We have a feeling it isn't, but we like learning things!
In any case, the speed of the decision isn't what's important: what matters is that Barack Obama is still secretly running our country and thwarting Donald Trump all the time. Funny, we've never actually wished a conspiracy theory was true before.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.