Well! It seems that after theircrappy reporting was debunked, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft and Stupidest Guest Blogger on the Internet Kristinn Taylor are demanding an apology from all us mean old lefties for a "vicious smear campaign" against them. In a piece largely aimed at Charles Johnson, who has led the debunking at Little Green Footballs, Mr. Taylor demands "major apologies" from everyone -- including Yr Wonkette -- who criticized Gateway Pundit's error-filled report claiming that the federal government was opening a "$50 million luxury resort for illegal children, complete with tennis Courts, sauna & pools." We would like to submit our apology to Mssrs. Taylor and Hoft right now: We're very sorry that both of you are A Idiot, you syphilitic dicks.


At the heart of Taylor's cri de butthurt is one simple fact: Charles Johnson asserted that Taylor's piece had no evidence for the claim that Baptist Child & Family Services (BCFS) had received a "$50 million contract" to turn the Palm Aire Hotel in Weslaco, Texas, into a 600-bed facility to house immigrant children. But in fact, says Taylor, he really and truly did link to an article with that figure in it:

What Johnson fails to report is that I link in my article to a report by KRGV-TV posted July 14 that states:

“WESLACO – BCFS Health and Human Services secured a $50-million federal contract to house young illegal immigrants in Weslaco.

“The network of non-profit agencies will take over the Palm Aire Hotel and Suites on FM 1015.

“BCFS officials say they plan to have 600 beds once the hotel is turned into immigrant housing. They say 650 jobs will be created at the site.”

The KRGV-TV report includes video showing their anchor reporting on air the same report about a $50 million federal contract for BCFS.

And by golly, he actually does -- in the third-from-last paragraph of his article. Of course, there's a small problem with that, too: as Taylor acknowledges, there actually was no contract awarded, and the local TV reporter that Taylor linked to just plain got it wrong. BCFS was preparing to submit a bid to buy the run-down hotel, but had not yet done so:

It was only well after my report was published that unnamed “officials” told Fox News that BCFS had not yet submitted a proposal to the federal government for the Palm Aire Hotel and Suites:

“Officials said the project never reached the point of submitting a proposal to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, but one of the hotel’s current owners confirmed that a sales agreement with BCSF had been in place.”

Also, as a later article noted, the bid for the purchase of the hotel was to be $3.8 million in non-government funds, which is "multi-million," but maybe just a little bit less than $50 million, and also is, we'll repeat, in non-government funds.

So Kristinn Taylor and Jim Hoft would like an apology from us for claiming that they were inaccurate, although they freely admit that the source they cited was inaccurate. Sure. We're sorry you're so fucking sloppy. God knows we've all made mistakes -- but we've never demanded an apology from people who pointed out we'd screwed up. We are also sorry that you are stupid enough to think that criticism of your slapdash scribbling deserves an apology, and that you believe such criticism is "actionable." Actionable? SO IS YOUR FACE. But it would make for some great courtroom hilarity, like, funnier than Night Court even! "Your honor, we cited a source, the source was wrong, and babies are in Baby Jail because we are fucking monsters, but those guys said we didn't cite a source at all. Please throw the book at them." And then Judge Harry would do a magic trick, boink the blonde, and say something droll and libertarianish.

As to the much larger lie in the story, the notion that the facility was going to be a "luxury resort" that would preserve all of the amenities of an operating motel, as listed on its website, Taylor explains that lie away with all the charm and sincerity of a Milo Minderbinder:

It is not our fault the currently open Palm Aire Hotel and Suites advertises (with eye-catching photographs) it has large beautiful swimming pools, Jacuzzis, saunas, tennis courts, racquet ball courts and a spacious exercise room with 20 machines and free weights.

Well, actually, as John Wheaton notes in his reply at LGF,

Yes, it is entirely your fault, because nowhere in your article do you point out that BCFS was planning to renovate the facility, which would mean all the “luxury resort” amenities would be gone. (Hint: the Palm Aire is a 3-star tourist hotel, NOT a resort.) No, instead, you implied (falsely) that the immigrants were going to be housed in a luxury resort worth $50 million, paid for entirely with government funds. That’s certainly what your screaming headline would lead the casual reader to conclude.

It was that lie that got repeated all over the Wingnuttosphere, and which generated so much screaming on the Right, and that led BCFS to back out of bidding on the property. Thanks to your deliberately misleading, slipshod keyboard farts, instead of immigrant children being housed in a Spartan but dignified dormitory-style 600-bed facility, they'll continue to languish in crowded federally owned facilities, like Jesus commanded.

Also, Kristinn Taylor, you vacuous bucket of spleen-squeezings, please learn something about pronouns when they're the objects of prepositions. You're continually using "Jim Hoft and I" when it should be "Jim Hoft and me," which is a sure sign of A Idiot trying to sound smart. No charge for that.

Best,

Marty Kelley

a.k.a. Doktor Zoom

(If John Wheaton, a.k.a. Wheat-dogg, is willing to step out from behind his nom-de-blog for this, so am I. I'd also like to borrow his follow-up: "I trust you and your fans will use this information wisely and responsibly.")

P.S.: Also, Jim Hoft still owes us $3150, so #paythefuckup.

[Gateway Pundit / LGF]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He may be too trusting.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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