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Funtimes at the US Supreme Court! In hearing an appeal to former Virginia Governor and current felon Bob McDonnell's conviction for Duke Cunningham levels of bribe-taking, the court seemed to be questioning whether federal laws mandating that you not take bribes might be unconstitutionally vague! It is true, how are you even supposed to know what "don't take bribes" means, it might mean "honey where did you put the car keys," or "let's go fishing," or "I've got this thing and it's fucking golden and I can, I can use it to parachute me in there." Why is Rod Blagojevich in jail anyway? Whycan't he sell a Senate appointment to the highest bidder???


Give us the rundown, Washington Post!

The 2016 presidential campaign has featured an outpouring of protest by voters against “politics as usual.” But the justices had a different aim in mind — drawing a clear line that would keep overzealous prosecutors from converting common gestures of politicians into criminal acts. [Chief Justice John] Roberts, for instance, mentioned a hypothetical example of a governor who goes trout fishing with the head of a company seeking tax incentives to relocate to that governor’s state. [Justice Stephen] Breyer offered the example of an expensive bottle of wine bought at a lunch to thank an official for a courtesy.

Well, Justice Breyer, there are laws about how much you can spend on wine for public officials! And in pretty much every state including Virginia, it is less than $175,000!

The Washington Post says Bob McDonnell and his lovely bride taking $175,000 in cash and wedding banquets from his buddy is not against Virginia law; we're not sure how that squares with the link above, which says legislators can't accept gifts over $100, unless it's because "the governor is not a legislator." I am neither a lawyer nor the Washington Post, so ... ???

According to the Post's wrapup of yesterday's oral arguments, the Court is very concerned about the overbroad vagueness of "don't take bribes." How can you tell it is really a bribe, the Court has been asking since it overturned the conviction of Enron's Jeffrey Skilling (UGH) by narrowing "honest services fraud" to "yeah, Duke Cunningham ACTUALLY HAD A BRIBE MENU, so that maaaaybe counts."

It is an excellent question. Are we criminalizing "everyday acts" of grifting and greed? And is that really fair? Wasn't Bob McDonnell's pal just giving him $175,000 worth of speech? Why do you hate the First Amendment, "good government" jerks?

Wait for the Supreme Court to legalize bribery in Citizens United 2: The Griftening, coming whenever, unless Scalia stays dead.

[WaPo]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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