You knew this was coming

You'll be shocked to learn the charming fella charged with murdering some folks at a Colorado Planned Parenthood has a long history of being being a raging evangelical anti-choice lady-beating kid-abandoning poop pile.

We'll give you a moment to collect yourselves from this stunning revelation.

Robert L. Dear, who allegedly proclaimed "No more baby parts!" -- which every single "pro-life" snot-weasel in America will have you know has nothing whatsoever to do with every single one of them screaming about BABY PARTS!!! since July -- has a whole mess of ex-wives and acquaintances, and they've had some interesting things to say about him:

A number of people who knew Mr. Dear said he was a staunch abortion opponent. [Ex-wife Barbara] Micheau, 60, said in a brief interview Tuesday that late in her marriage to Mr. Dear, he told her that he had put glue in the locks of a Planned Parenthood location in Charleston.

“He was very proud of himself that he’d gone over and jammed up their locks with glue so that they couldn’t get in,” she said.

But that probably had nothing to do with any positions Dear might have held for the last two decades about Planned Parenthood. Maybe he just really liked glue guns and then progressed to gun guns is all. Or maybe he's had Planned Parenthood on the brain for 20 years, and after realizing gluing the doors shut didn't stop doctors from providing healthcare to women, he decided to ramp it up a bit. Maybe.

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One can never really know the motivations of the thousands of lone wolves who've engaged in violent and non-violent terrorism against abortion providers for the last several decades. One can only know for certain that none of those thousands of acts have anything whatsoever to do with the "pro-life" movement of harmless little ol' grammas who just wanna tell you you are going to burn in the lake of fire for murdering babies, you dirty fucking whore. Nope, nothing at all.

Anyway, just because Dear attacked a Planned Parenthood once or twice doesn't mean he's one of them "pro-life" types:

One person who spoke with him extensively about his religious views said Mr. Dear, who is 57, had praised people who attacked abortion providers, saying they were doing “God’s work.” In 2009, said the person, who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of concerns for the privacy of the family, Mr. Dear described as “heroes” members of the Army of God, a loosely organized group of anti-abortion extremists that has claimed responsibility for a number of killings and bombings.

The Army of God is that lovely pro-life pro-terrorism Christian organization that openly calls for the murder of abortion providers, in the name of "life." It tracks doctors, circulates their private information online, and hands out a lifetime supply of grateful blowjobs to those who carry out the "Army's" mission and shoot doctors dead. Like Scott Roeder, who assassinated Dr. George Tiller in his church. For example.

Sure, the Army of God is one of those extremist examples the "mainstream" movement disavows. Except for, like, not really, since the leaders of the mainstream movement -- say, Ted Cruz's newest BFF and president of Operation Rescue, Troy Newman -- also believes it's A-OK to murder doctors, in the name of God and "life." So maybe Robert Dear is an extremist, or maybe he is just a mainstream "pro-lifer." So hard to tell. According to his ex-wife's affidavit filed during their divorce:

"He claims to be a Christian and is extremely evangelistic, but does not follow the Bible in his actions,” Ms. Micheau said in the court document. “He says that as long as he believes he will be saved, he can do whatever he pleases. He is obsessed with the world coming to an end.”

Is there more? Oh, there is so much more. Another one of Dear's ex-wives, Pamela Ross, says he wasn't super obsessed with opposing abortion, but he did beat her up some. Neat!

A police incident report shows that in 1997, she told the police that he had locked her out of her home and that he had “hit her and pushed her out the window” when she tried to climb in. He also shoved her to the ground, she said. The report said she did not want to file charges.

Then there was the time in 1992 when he was charged with raping a woman in her apartment, with a knife at her throat. But there are no further records regarding the charges, so they were likely dismissed. Oh well. She was probably making it up anyway, like how bitches do. At least we know Dear never went on to do more violence against anyone. Allegedly.

But wait, there's more! Yes, even more. Because in addition to being a devout Christian -- the kind who converts hearts and minds by ALL-CAPS quoting the Bible in internet comments, such as "Turn to JESUS or burn in hell" and "WAKE UP SINNERS U CANT SAVE YOURSELF U WILL DIE AN WORMS SHALL EAT YOUR FLESH, NOW YOUR SOUL IS GOING SOMEWHERE" -- and having a violent temper and maybe being a rapist and being anti-abortion enough to attack not one but two Planned Parenthood clinics (allegedly), he is also philandering scumbag, in the godly way. How godly? He hooked up with his second wife while he was still married to the first wife, and then impregnated the first wife while he was married to the second wife, and also impregnated the future third wife while he was married to the second wife and heyyyyyyyy, if he ends up not in prison for the rest of life, we'd love to introduce him to a nice Christian lady in Kentucky named Kim Davis. We have a feeling they'd get along great!

We don't yet know whether Dear will admit he murdered three people in Planned Parenthood, but he did it for a real good reason (NO MORE BABY PARTS!), as is the customary pro-life terrorist defense. Regardless of what happens with his trial and what else we learn about him, it is safe to say, even at this early stage, that WOW, he seems nice. By which we mean, of course, Christ, what an asshole.


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