Target Stores Are The Latest Lucky Hosts Of Open Carry Texas Idiots
Another day, another story about some gun nuts that just won't be happy if they can't bring a semi-automatic weapon to the corner store when they pick up a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter. Having been turned away by ginormous chains like Starbucks, Chipotle, Sonic, and Chili's, Texas's extra-virulent brand of gun humpers have now turned their sights, literally and figuratively, to Target, because when you're going in for little Timmy's LEGO set or a surprisingly cheap and stylish pair of shorts, you best be strapped.
On Saturday in the Dallas suburb of Irving, a group of men armed with semi-automatic rifles gathered in a parking lot outside a Target store for a demonstration led by the group Open Carry Texas, whose goal is the loosening and abolishment of gun regulations.
Generally, any sentence that includes the words "a group of men armed with semi-automatic rifles" should not also reference the store where we go in to buy laundry detergent and somehow leave having spent $200 on a kitchen island, a pack of t-shirts, a 12-pack of gum, and, inexplicably, no laundry detergent.
To be fair, Target isn't doing itself any favors here, as they're basically hoping no one will notice if they just don't decide anything about this whole little gun problem.
"As we have previously shared, the safety and security of our guests and team members is our top priority and we follow all local, state and federal laws," Target spokesperson Molly Snyder told [Mother Jones] in an email on Sunday, adding, "We respect the rights of our guests to express their opinions and we will continue to listen and take their feedback seriously."
You see, Target, that's kind of the problem. Some of your guests are expressing their opinions by writing letters or, heaven forfend, resorting to an angry phone call, but some other guests are expressing their opinions by BRINGING A PILE OF WEAPONS TO YOUR STORE. We're just not sure that there's going to be a good-faith dialogue here. Also, we should probably remind you that the weapons-toting people are the ones that actually brought the NRA to heel, which does not really suggest that they are terribly reasonable human beings.
Moms Demand Action has been pressuring Target to say that maybe gun-toting freaks do not need to tote guns to pick up some produce and chips, because somehow this is a thing that is actually debatable. Now, we would be remiss if we failed to take a moment to mock the Moms Demand Action picture, even though we would never in a million years mock the Moms Demand Action goal.
For real, what is happening there? Is the baby typing the letter? Did the baby hijack the computer so mom has to use a pen and paper while her sweet-ass laptop is right there? Why does mom have to hold the baby like she's about to tuck the baby under her arm and run into the end zone? We realize that to get maximum impact they needed "mom plus baby" and didn't actually want to add "gun" to that equation, but seriously. But we kid in love, Moms, truly.
Gun nuts? You, we kid with pretty much unadulterated hate. In fact, the only thing that mitigates our hate is our sheer befuddlement at why you'd want to tote a long rifle gun thingy around Target. Christ, we get pissed when we pick up too many things and have to get one of those baskets. We really can't imagine dragging a machine gun around as well, so kudos to you for your tenacity, even though it is a tenacity fueled by immeasurable stupidity. Please don't shoot us for saying that.