Sad sack of shit

POOR NEWTIE! He didn't get to be named Trump's vice presidential pick, and ohhhhhh, he wanted it so bad! He loved the idea as much as he loves America, and you know how much he loves America! (Enough to bone a chick what ain't his wife, that's how much. Callista, you dodged a bullet when Trump passed your husband over, and by "bullet" we mean Newt's angry dick flying out of the room into a younger, more helmet-headed version of you.)

[wonkbar]<a href=""></a>[/wonkbar]But anyway, Newtie is not Trump's running mate, and so now, this crazy, fucked up week where Trump is flailing around, seemingly trying to put the nail in the coffin of his own campaign, Gingrich is speaking his mind about how much his former lover sucks.

Let's do it this way. Here is Newt at the beginning of June, talking to Sean Hannity:

Gingrich began by saying that there’s no model for “the Donald Trump unique, extraordinary experience, not Ronald Reagan, not Richard Nixon — you just have to relax and take it for that unique experience.”

Still gross. But anyway, here is Newt now:

“The current race is which of these two is the more unacceptable, because right now neither of them is acceptable,” Gingrich said in a Wednesday morning telephone interview. “Trump is helping her to win by proving he is more unacceptable than she is.”

Newt, licking Trump's Chiclet-sized balls on the Hannity program in June again:

Gingrich later said that GOP front-runner Donald Trump is “the first candidate in my lifetime to take on the establishment — and by the way, it’s a corrupt establishment, an establishment that pays off each other. What’s beginning to come out is that these guys are really sick, and Trump is exposing them.”

And Newt now, having gone through several of the stages of grief, and having had a refreshing glass of water after spending his summer licking Trump's dick and ass:

Gingrich said Trump has only a matter of weeks to reverse course. “Anybody who is horrified by Hillary should hope that Trump will take a deep breath and learn some new skills,” he said. “He cannot win the presidency operating the way he is now. She can’t be bad enough to elect him if he’s determined to make this many mistakes.”

Awwww, how sad. Maybe that rumored "intervention" that Newt and Republican losers like Reince Priebus and Rudy Giuliani have planned will happen and Newt can once again attend to the hard work of bathing Donald Trump's genitals with his strong, masculine tongue. Or maybe it won't and Newt should heed his own advice, lie down, and "relax and take it" from Trump. It's such a unique experience, Newtie said so himself!

[Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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