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Tea Party Nation President: Obama Is Obviously A Gay Black Crack Addict

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What are two things that are exactly the same? Are they "Arab witch-hunts" and "questions about Mitt Romney's tax returns"? No. Those two things arenot the same, as we proved with our persuasive logic yesterday. But here are two things that are exactly the same: "Mitt Romney opening his tax returns" and "Barack Obama proving he isn't smoking crack or doing sex in men's bottoms." Yup. Those will work! Thanks, Judson Phillips, president of Tea Party Nation!


Blah blah blah Obama is an idiot who sucked at school, how did he get into Harvard oh right Affirmative Action, where is it ... let's see ... oh! Here it is:

Obama by his own admission was a very heavy marijuana user in his youth. He has also admitted to using cocaine, though he denies using drugs such as heroin. He also says he was a significant drinker.

Why is this important?

Because these are all symptoms of addiction.

A man named Larry Sinclair claims that in 1999 he and Barack Obama had sex and then smoked crack cocaine. This is 1999, nine years before Obama would run for President.

Crack cocaine is very addictive. It is very destructive. Addiction specialist will tell you that a crack addiction is very tough to break.

Is Obama an addict? Was he an addict in the past?

These are all legitimate questions to ask about a man who has his hands on the nuclear trigger.

Why is Obama hiding these records and why isn’t the drive by media asking these questions. Why aren’t Republicans demanding the answers to these questions, instead of telling Mitt Romney he needs to play into Obama’s hands by releasing more tax returns?

Well-typed, Judson Phillips! Your grassroots band of merry Constitutionalists knows the really important issues facing our country: that we are presided over by a gay black crack addict.

And demanding that the gay black crack addict prove he is not a gay black crack addict is totally the same as asking to see the same tax returns that every presidential candidate has released for decades.

You got us this time, Judson Phillips! DOH!

[TeaPartyNation, via RawStory]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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